He’s standing over me.His expression carefully neutral, but a muscle ticking in his jaw betrays the storm within.He’s breathing heavily, as if he’s been running.
The thought of facing him, of answering that question, makes my stomach flip.I stare at the trembling hands in my lap.
He slides down the wall beside me.He doesn’t touch me.Doesn’t speak.He just sits there, a solid presence in the dimly lit hallway.He leans his head back against the wall, resting his hand on the floor between us, palm up.
My breath catches.
I reach out, my fingertips brushing his, but then retract.
“Please…” I whisper.“Leave me alone, Matt… Just go…”
Matthew closes his hand into a fist, knuckles white.He doesn’t look at me.His gaze shifts briefly to where our hands almost touched before he returns to scanning the hallway.
“The person you’re hurting most is you,” he says, eyes fixed on the dance floor in the distance.
A dry laugh, more like a sob, escapes me.“All I wanted was to get lost in this night.To forget.I told you not to come.”
Matthew remains silent, jaw tight, gaze fixed on the flashing lights.
The silence stretches.
“You’re right.I should’ve never come.”He finally looks at me, his eyes darkening with a pain that mirrors my own.“You think I wanted to find you like that?Pressed up against some random guy.”
He stands up.
The words hit me like a slap.
Shame, hot and heavy, swallows me whole.
I can’t meet his gaze.
I stare down at my hands, fresh tears blurring my vision.
“It’s James’s idea, remember?”I force out, my voice quivering.“I was just practicing.”
Matthew takes a step back, his hands clenching into fists at his sides.“Practicing?”he repeats.“Is that what you call it?Throwing yourself at some stranger and letting him—” He cuts himself off, taking a deep breath to steady himself.“That’s not the solution, Amy.This isn’t the way to deal with this.This isn’t you.”
“You seem to have me on a pedestal where I clearly don’t belong.”
“Fuck that!”Matthew retorts, cutting through the fog in my brain.“Don’t give me this bullshit.You think I don’t know you’re hurting?I don’t see what he’s done to you?”He runs a hand through his hair, closing his eyes briefly.“What do you want me to say, Amy?”He takes a step closer, his eyes searching mine.“That it’s okay?That you should just let yourself disappear into…this?”He gestures around at the club with raw anger.
My chest tightens.
I look away, blinking rapidly.
I can’t breathe.
The realization is sudden.Terrifying.It’s not just a thought.It’s a physical reality.
My eyes widen.My lungs seize, unable to draw in air.
I try to stand, pushing myself up with shaky hands.
I need to get out.
Need air.
But my legs wobble.Dizziness hits me.The room spins, the flashing lights and throbbing music morphing into a chaotic assault on my senses.My knees buckle, and I sink back down to the floor, hand flying to my chest to clutch the fabric of my dress.
