The faces around me become indistinct.
Even in this sea of bodies, I feel utterly alone.
Guilt lances through the haze.
Matthew’s concerned eyes flash in my mind.I stumble away from the dance floor, pushing through the throng of people toward the hallway to the restrooms.The music is still loud but muffled, the bass a dull throb.My fingers find my phone.My thumb presses the call button on its own.
The phone rings once, twice…
Matthew picks up, his voice tight.“Amy, you alright?”
“Mattt-thew,” I slur, my tongue thick and clumsy.“I-I owe you ’pology… a ’pology… gotta ’pologize for being such a bitch.”I hiccup.It sounds both embarrassing and strangely liberating.“You were right.You tried to help, really did, an’ I just...ran.Such a child.”I roll my eyes as if he can see them.
There’s a long silence.“Amy, listen.I’m coming to get you.Just tell me where you are.”I hear a door slam on his end.
“No!”I say a little too loudly.A couple walking past gives me a strange look.“I don’t n-need rescue, ’m fine.Just need to… sorry, ’n thanks.For trying.You’re a good person.Not like… like…” A sob catches in my throat, but I swallow it down.
I won’t cry.
Not again.
Not over him.
“Please tell me where you are,” he commands, his tone firm but laced with worry.
I lean sideways, pressing my temple against the cool tiles.I close my eyes.“Doesn’t matter, no more.James is a… he’s a… he comes here all the time, y’ know, with boy…boisterouswomen,” I blurt, the words tumbling out in a clumsy torrent.“My turn… my time for fun.He says—”
“Amy, listen to me—”
“Says it’s the only way.Why wait?I’m here… already in Hydra.I cheat, I cheat.”I laugh, a harsh, broken sound.
Through the phone, I hear the distant roar of an engine.“Please, don’t.I need you to stay exactly where you are.Promise me, Amy.Say it.”His voice is urgent now, cutting through the haze of alcohol and despair.“Amy—”
I swipe the red button.
I blink slowly at my phone, the screen already dark.
Stay exactly where you are.
His words echo in my head, but they have no power.I shove the phone back in my purse and turn toward the bar.The music is deafening.
One more drink.
The bartender looks at me expectantly.It takes a moment to register his intent.“Anything strong,” I yell over the music.
He pours me a shot of whiskey.I down it in one gulp before weaving back to the dance floor.
The bright lights are like a spotlight, judging me.The music takes hold, dictating my movements, my thoughts.A wave pulling me under.Deeper into the darkness.
I close my eyes, letting it take over, trying to drown out everything else.
I open them.A man steps in front of me, a calculating smile on his face.He’s tall, with dark hair and eyes that take in everything.I try to step back, but the crowd makes it difficult.He steps forward, closing the distance.
“Wanna dance?”he asks, smooth and confident.
I hesitate.Unease breaks through my haze.But just as fast, a surge of recklessness takes over.I offer him a shaky smile, my gaze not quite meeting his.
“Sure,” I slur, my voice sounding foreign to my own ears.“You’ll do…” I trail off, my train of thought lost.
