He had chosen his words deliberately, leaving a door open, focusing on what she’d say to her cousin, as opposed to anything else in question.
“What do you mean?Be clear here.”
“With us.Level one, what do we tell Leah?”he began, carefully so as not to put pressure on her before it was necessary.And if you feel up to it, how would you describe what’s going on with us…between us?”
“You’re helping me to get the wedding back on track.Anything else will happen naturally, right?I mean it has been.”
It has been.
Happening naturally…
“And” he said, “just to be clear, you’re not opposed to any direction it’s gone so far?”
She shook her head.“I think we’re adults.I think we’ll figure out how to define what’s happening between us as we go.”
Which was the best thing he’d heard all day.“And your family?”
She rolled her eyes, and he understood exactly why.So many times, the questions started like this, the relentless curiosity that followed.It sounded like he’d asked the same question, but as she thought about it, it seemed as if she got it.
“As far as I’m concerned,” she finally said, as he felt her hand grasp his, “my family, yours, whoever, can say what they want, you know?We know the truth, and if the lines blur, we can figure out how to clean them up whichever way we want to.”
We know the truth.
We’re adults.
“Honestly.Emotional and actual honesty.I like that.”
And now that was clear, he was ready to meet everything and anything that came their way.
*
Saturday, May 3rd
Nothing was everclearer in the morning, no matter what people said about it.
The nerves she had about taking Jason to meet Leah in this new phase of their relationship did not leave after the conversation she and Jason had the night before.And she didn’t know why.
Was it because of how easy he was taking all of it?In stride, no questions, as if he hadn’t turned the page since before he left?
Right into her apartment, right into her arms and right into her bed…as if the last few months he hadn’t been traveling the country, mostly on the West Coast.
And she’d let him.
Not just let him but…welcomed him, invited him.Amidst the kind of chaos where nobody else would come near her.Even when the rest of her life had fallen apart, as if it had been held together by a wet tissue, he’d come right back and…was unquestioningly there.
Wow.
Usually the way it went, with relationships—at least the ones she’d known—at any sign that she wasn’t the superwoman she seemed like most of the time, the guy who had been so interested in her would…depart.
And yet there was Jason.Genuine confidant and friend before…who had become more without even a question.Who wasn’t flinching when she told him they were going to see her cousin.The sports agent.Who wanted to interrogate him.
“You okay?”
Even in the early morning, in the middle of the Lower East Side, he looked beautiful; Empires cap on his head, jeans and a T-shirt on his frame.They’d just gotten out of Baum’s bagels, having navigated the crowd and emerged with their prize.
She nodded.“Just thinking,” she said, resorting to one of her usual lines, which in this case was true.
“We’ll be fine at Leah’s,” he said, somehow managing to figure out part of what was bothering her.“Make Samuel play poker, and he’ll lose his marbles and his attempt to gossip.”
