“I heard you already had a meeting with her,” Carys asks after a beat of heavy silence. “Is that why you smell like that?”
I click my tongue before scowling at her. She’s so used to it that she doesn’t bat an eyelid.
“Do you honestly think I’m going to start anything with an omega?” I ask, holding back a snarl. Even when she knows so much about me, she’s still young, but nearly as old as Luke.
I almost groan as guilt surges through me again. That’s right, Luke really is that much younger than me. I know it, but I keep forgetting because of how relaxed he is with me. And I was fantasizing about him like that while I was getting high off whatever the hell he put in the oatmeal.
“Look, I stopped at the convenience store on the way here, okay? It’s just my nutritionist will have a fit if he finds out.” And if he discovers what I did before I left. “There was an omega behind the counter, so that could be it.” Though she didn’t touch me, so it wouldn’t explain why the scent is all over my clothes and my car.
I’m grasping at straws at this point.
I only went there because I needed some kind of comfort food after the stress of losing control.
“Timber, it’s way more intense than a random encounter. If someone’s scent marking you without your consent, that’s a really big problem.”
Except I’m fine with having maple syrup all over me. If it’s plastered on my insides, then I can wear it on my outside to show people I can actually fucking taste something.
“Don’t worry about it,” I say gruffly as I lick at my teeth, hoping some of the taste is still trapped in there.
More guilt flows through me as another silence sweeps between us. I worry I’ve been too harsh when she’s only looking out for me.
I’m tapping my finger on the steering wheel as we get stuck in traffic, while thinking of a way to break the awkwardness, but she rescues us.
“What would you do if you matched with someone again?” Carys asks quietly.
My hands instantly tighten on the wheel as I put my foot down. The engine notches up a pitch as we speed off down the highway again.
I scrabble around for an answer that won’t come off as curt. When she first asked me, she hadn’t presented yet, she couldn’t scent anything, and she only knew about scent matches from all those shitty romcoms she made me watch when I was going through my bad years. Ares forced me to stay with them off-season, so I didn’t do anything stupid.
I had an instant answer for her back then: I’d reject them. I didn’t sugarcoat it because she was looking for advice when her boyfriend presented as an alpha. The asshole ended up breaking her heart, so I don’t regret how selfish and blunt I was. I hurt her by telling her not to have any expectations of him, but I was right in the end.
“There’s something about scent matching that drives you wild, Carys,” I say. “It’s like nothing else matters in the world. Yourmatch becomes absolutely everything to you, and it really feels like you’re nothing without them. It’s crazy.” I click my teeth as I remember how insane I used to be when I matched in my twenties. “So, first, I’d make sure I knew if what I felt was really genuine, or if it’s just my alpha side telling me that person is my match.”
“But aren’t they the same thing? Your… instincts and your feelings?”
I let out a heavy sigh and notice the way she’s winding her fingers on her lap.
“Did you scent match with someone?” I ask softly.
“No,” she murmurs. Her cheeks darken again, and she focuses on the passing buildings. “I haven’t even gone on a date since getting back from college this summer.”
“Really? So you don’t want a relationship?”
She shakes her head before she shrugs. “I don’t know. I spent all of college on suppressants. I’m just trying to figure out how to… exist in my own body, I guess.”
“You took suppressants?”
She flinches and ducks her head. “Don’t tell anyone, please. I presented a month before I was supposed to go to school in Colorado. I… was terrified, honestly. So I went on a low-grade suppressant and then had a booster medication to stop my heat from starting.”
I fucking hate that she had to take suppressants. But there are no alternatives for omegas in a situation like that.
“Do you remember what you told me before you presented? When you were still dating that dumb asshole from the football team?”
Her brows furrow as she glances back at me. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “That I wanted a love I didn’t have to hide from my dad?. And… and someone who wasn’tintimidated by him, or was only interested in me because of my connection to hockey.”
“Is that still what you want?”
Carys bites her bottom lip. “I… yeah, I think I do. It’s so cliché, I know, but I want something like the movies: the flowers, the dates, the small, nervous touches. I want what Chase and Axel have. Something that’s just so…” She sighs. “You justknow. There’s no questioning it, no worry you’re wasting your time with someone who won’t even know your friends in another year.”
