“This one,” I say, handing her a novel without really looking at it. “Secret identity. He lies to her. She has to decide if she can forgive him.”
“Perfect.” She peers at me over her glasses. “You look tired, dear.”
“Early morning.”
“Hmm.” She doesn’t push, which I appreciate. Just pays for her book and leaves.
At noon, my phone buzzes.
Scott:Can we talk?
I look at the message for exactly three seconds. Then I put my phone in the desk drawer and close it.
At 12:15, it buzzes again. And again at 12:30.
I don’t check.
At one pm, Caroline pokes her head into the office.
“Your phone’s been buzzing a lot.”
“I know.”
“Are you going to answer it?”
“No.”
“Is it Mr. Avery?”
“I don’t know. I haven’t looked.”
She hesitates in the doorway. “Jessica...are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’ve said that eleven times today. I’ve been counting.”
“Then you should have better things to do.”
It comes out sharper than I intended. Caroline’s face flickers—hurt, then understanding, then careful neutrality.
“Right. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone.”
She closes the door, and I sit there in the silence, staring at the drawer where my phone is buzzing.
I should feel bad for snapping at her. I should feel something. But there’s just…nothing. A flat, empty space where emotions should be.
This is familiar. This is how I survived David. You just stop feeling things. You go through the motions. You smile when you’re supposed to smile and work when you’re supposed to work and eventually the numbness becomes normal.
It’s fine.
I’m fine.
Everything is fine.
At three pm,I finally check my phone.
Scott:Can we talk?
