This morning, when everything had been fine.
She sank onto the couch, into the spot still warm from Mac's body, and felt everything crack apart.
50
Day One - Rachel
Rachel called Dr. Reyes at 8 AM, her hands shaking so badly she could barely hold the phone.
"Rachel? What's wrong?"
"Mac left. He said he needs space. He said I keep shutting him out and he can't—" Rachel's voice broke. "Dr. Reyes, I think I'm losing him."
"Come in today. I have a 2 PM opening."
Dr. Reyes' office was on the second floor of an old Victorian house that had been converted into therapy suites. Rachel had been coming here for six months, but she'd never really looked at the space before. Always too focused on surviving the session to notice the details.
Now, sitting in the familiar armchair, sage green velvet, worn soft at the arms, Rachel found herself cataloging everything.
Dr. Reyes was in her mid-fifties, with silver-streaked black hair pulled back in a neat bun and reading glasses perpetually perched on top of her head. She wore a burgundy cardigan today. She had kind eyes.
The office smelled like lavender and old books. A diffuser hummed quietly in the corner. The walls were cream-colored, decorated with abstract art that Rachel had never paid attention to before.
But today, she fixated on one particular painting: a woman standing at the edge of a cliff, looking out at a vast ocean. Alone but not lonely. Free but terrified.
Rachel understood that feeling viscerally.
"Tell me what happened," Dr. Reyes said gently, her pen poised over her notepad.
Rachel explained everything. Brad. The meeting. Mac's hurt. The way she'd chosen closure over him.
Dr. Reyes listened without interrupting, her expression neutral but present. When Rachel finished, she set down her pen.
"So what do you want to do?" Dr. Reyes asked. "How do you want to fix this?"
"I don't know how."
"Rachel, I'm going to ask you something difficult." Dr. Reyes leaned forward slightly, her hands folded in her lap. "Do you want to fix this? Or do you want Mac to come back so you can keep doing things the same way?"
Rachel was staring at the painting. The woman on the cliff. The endless ocean.
"Because if you want Mac back," Dr. Reyes continued gently, "you need to actually change, to let him be a part of your life. Even if it means just letting him drive you to a meeting with your ex, or talking about your feelings. You need to not promise to make an effort, but actually do the work. Just like he is. Are you ready for that?"
Rachel thought about Mac's face. The devastation. The exhaustion from fighting for her. How he always came running back no matter what she’d done or said.
"Yes," she said. "I'm ready."
"Good." Dr. Reyes picked up her pen again. "Then let's get to work."
Day Two - Mac
Mac sat at Cole's kitchen table, staring at his coffee going cold.
The mug said "World's Okayest Captain" it was a gag gift from Luke last Christmas. Mac traced the letters with his thumb, not drinking.
Cole moved around the kitchen, making eggs even though it was 2 PM. The smell filled the space: butter, salt, the slight char of overcooked edges. Mac's stomach churned.
"Have you talked to her?" Cole asked, sliding a plate in front of Mac.
