“Answer me one thing. Well... two. What the hell was the point of the arranged marriages? And where the hell are our mothers?”
My father’s face turns beet red. “Such stupid questions. The marriages were for two things—money and power. We were attempting to connect families. Your mothers are no longer your concern. They stand with their husbands, as it should be.”
“You disgust me.” I spit at the man I once called my father.
“One last thing, Joseph. Your little girlfriend is on borrowed time. The clock is ticking. I will bring her back to me, where she should’ve never left. After I have my fill, I will end her—right in front of you.”
I jump up with a roar. “You are a dead man! You will never get access to her again, do you hear me?” I swipe everything off the table in a rage, glasses hitting the floor and shattering.
I stalk out of the restaurant, pure rage fueling me.
This threat isn’t empty; he means it. There's only one thing I can do to keep Pazessca safe. She may hate me for it, but I have no choice.
Fucking motherfucker. Dead man walking is what that piece of shit sperm donor is.
My fist smacks the steering wheel as I drive.
“Fuck.”
I barely glance at my split knuckles, not even registering the pain.
I’m so sick of having no choice but to do what my father wants. Especially if there are threats involved. The one against Pazessca; that's the worst one he could make.
I can’t hurt her again. My Pazessca. Nor my brothers, all of them, even the new additions, Harris and Sam.
What I'll have to do will hurt them all. Again.
Thinking back to childhood, I honestly don’t remember the exact age I was subjected to the violence. I recall playing with my brothers, maybe four or five years old.
But I'll never forget the first time I was forced to watch torture and murder. It traumatized me. For everything I was forced to participate in, every incident put a black stain on my soul. Over the years, the black spread to my heart, then my mind. Until her.
Pazessca unlocked a part of my very essence I didn’t know existed. I discovered love, compassion, empathy. So, hurting her like I was forced to do with that setup with Valley utterly destroyed me.
My mind is always in chaos. OCD screams at me to put everything in order. Anxiety and depression war for dominance, pushing me to cause pain. Then there’s the rage disorder I was diagnosed with, IED—Intermittent Explosive Disorder. And PTSD.
My mother forced my father to put me in therapy when I was fourteen. It lasted all of one session. I scared the therapist so badly, my father was told not to bring me back.
So, I rage. And rage.
My chest heaves with an unsounded scream. My body vibrates with the need to destroy, to cause damage, to annihilate.
I finally let the scream loose, yelling so loudly I startle the driver next to me at the stoplight. I punch the steering wheel until the light turns green.
Gritting my teeth, I internally berate myself and my father as I head to the destination.
I have to do this. It's the only fucking way.
Pazessca is going to hate me—everyone will.
Chapter 32
Phoenyxx
I needsome time to myself, to process everything. Not just my parents, but literally everything. My whole life.
I’m uncomfortable standing in the shooting range. I'm alone, but very on edge.
I hate guns. They terrify me. Even the sound of the shot spikes my anxiety.
