“The ones the shepherd had to knock on the head?” I went very still as my oldest cousin, Crispin, smiled. “Seems like we should do the same. Clear the family name of this shame.”
The lot of them turned to face me, so much bigger, taller, than I was. All my life it was cruel pinches and rude shoves, but some animal part of me knew things were escalating. Welts had risen all over my body, though it was only my arm that ached. Their teeth flashed bright in the dappled sunlight, their eyes taking on the harsh cast my father’s hounds did, right as they were about to run a rabbit to ground.
“No…” I whispered, not wanting them to hear, but they did. “No.”
Speaking up, reacting was always a mistake. It gave themwhat they wanted. They punched and pummelled me, trying to drag out yet more squeaks of pain.
“What did you say, you wretched little whelp?” John strode closer. “Who are you to say no to me?” He seemed so tall then, but I knew now if he’d grown to adulthood, I would’ve towered over him. “I will be lord of this manor after Father, and then I will be responsible for the likes of you. A creature that has to be kept locked up for its own safety.”
That was true. Mother had banished me from the family home the first time I had a vision. She heard my childish mutterings, then reported to my father when things happened just as I said. Left to live in one of the worker’s cottages at the rear of the estate, a nurse cared for me until she couldn’t bear what she called my ‘unnatural nature.’ My family left me to my own devices, not really caring if I lived or died, but she?—
“What’s going on?”
Ariadne was my father’s horse mistress. It wasn’t a role many women would take, but she was tall enough, strong enough, to wrangle the most unruly of stallions. She appeared now, dressed in leather armour that creaked as she crossed her arms.
“Nothing you need to bother yourself with, woman,” John said with a sneer.
My eyes flicked from one person to the next, wondering how this exchange would go. John was born to rule the estate, but even Father deferred to Ariadne. This felt like the meeting on an unstoppable force and an immovable object.
“If this is nothing, then you’d best be on your way then,” she said. John was about to protest, but she said then the magic words. “Milord wants the lot of you up at the big house.”
John held her gaze, his chin rising, but something in her eyes had him dropping his stones. I didn’t let out a full breath until the others followed suit. As they walked off, Aidan looked back at me.
“We’ll finish this later, little freak.”
Back then, I was just glad the pain had stopped. With my brothers gone, most people just ignored me or made a strangesign when I passed. Ariadne? She moved forward, hands outstretched, the way she did with unruly foals.
“What happened this time?”
Her voice was one part frustration, one part irritation, and I hated that. Not enough to refuse to take her hand when she reached out to take mine. My fingers linked with hers as she led me into the stables.
“What did they do this time?”
She picked me up and put me on a hay bale, but I remained resolutely silent as she inspected my wounds. Telling on my brothers made them ten times more vicious. With a nod, she noted the tight line of my mouth, but when she went to grab something from the tack room shelves, someone else joined us.
Mother.
I stared then through the eyes of my child self, taking in her fine features, the proud set of her head. She walked into the stables, pulling on her riding gloves without even a glance my way.
“Morning, Ariadne,” she said in a crisp tone. “Have one of the lads saddle up Princess for me, will you?”
“Of course, milady.” Ariadne bowed at the waist. “Forgive me for mentioning this, but I found young Dain down behind the stables. The other boys…”
Part of me wanted to tell Mother what happened. It had to believe that if she knew what was going on, she’d be horrified. But my family’s treatment of me had its origins somewhere and it all began with her. Mother peered down at her nose at me. There was a coldness there I’d never seen in anyone else’s gaze. Her brows drew down as she stepped closer, scanning my body, noting each welt.
“You’ve only got yourself to blame for this.” She so rarely spoke to me, my young heart took in every word, then started to ache when I understood what she was saying. “Stay away from my sons and you’ll…”
She didn’t bother to finish the sentence. Instead, she turned to face Ariadne.
“My horse?”
“Of course, milady.”
Ariadne performed a very proper bow, then called one of the stable boys over. They saddled Mother’s horse and she pulled herself up onto Princess’ back, riding off without even a second glance my way. I hadn’t cried when they pelted me with rocks. A single tear rolled free now. The horse mistress noted that with a small frown, then went and got a tin off the shelf.
“Got a salve that will take the pain away.” Her voice took on a strange echo, as if two people were in the room, not one. “This will help, I promise.”
The smell of ice flower sap, dorne leaves, and firehead seeds filled my nose, and that wasn’t right. Ariadne’s muscle liniment stank of wintergreen. I frowned as she pulled my sleeve up, ignoring all the other welts to focus on my arm.
