You can hide your heart, pretend it does not beat for your mate and your brothers. You can tear out every page, but it won’t change things. You could’ve burned that journal on a fire, tossed it in a dung heap, let it fall into the sea as we passed over the bay, but you can’t.That silver eye peered at me more closely.Any more than you can throw your own heart away. That journal will always be a part of you and the pain you suffer will ease when you finally accept that.
Not today, I growled. As he rose to his feet, I pulled myself up and into the saddle.We need to get back to the estate, try and convince those idiots that going to the Tomb of Terror is a mistake.
Maybe Elsie will make her famous pancakes, he replied.
I shook my head, smiling despite my mood. My dragon knew his priorities and right now, that was food.
You’re only saying that because she makes you one the size of her head as a treat, I said.
And puts that sweet sauce on top of it.His wings flapped out andhe made a run for the crest of the hill.If we get there early, I can pretend to be Brightfang or Slate and steal theirs.
He climbed higher and higher into the air, until I could lean over and see the estate in the distance. Comfort and shame were strange bedfellows, but I made room for both as we flew closer, knowing that only one would win out.
Chapter 46
Fern
I woke with a groan. My head was throbbing awfully, the pain increasing when I opened my eyes a crack. That had them screwing up tight again, but it didn’t help. I was awake now and paying for the consequences of my actions. Mouth dry, a faint feeling of nausea had me sitting up carefully in bed.
In bed?
I was at Kael’s family estate, I remembered that, but with that realisation came a whole lot more. Walking into the tavern with Kael. His claiming I was his in front of all of those people. Lance… Lorien…
Dain.
I got to my feet, pulling out a fresh uniform from my bag and then put it on before walking out into the hallway, and that’s when I saw that his door was still half open. It would have taken very little to walk back in there, examine all of those drawings in the cold light of day, but something stopped me.
The look on his face, perhaps. He went as pale as his hair, his dark eyes burning like coals in a skull, right before he slipped out the window and leapt onto Argent’s back. It wasobvious he never meant anyone to see those drawings, let alone me. The urge to stay in the guest room, to avoid everyone until we were ready to fly out, rode me hard, but it was not the one that won out. I needed a long drink of water rather desperately, and perhaps some willow bark tea, if Mistress Elsie had some on hand. The muffled sounds of someone moving around the house below, the smells of good cooking drew me down the stairs and into the kitchen.
“Tea is on the table and is freshly brewed.” Elsie said, as she stirred a pot of what looked like oatmeal. “If you need willow bark, it’s in the blue teapot.”
“Thank you,” I said. “That’s most kind.”
“Oh!” Her head whipped around, her eyes widening as she took me in. “Oh goodness, I thought you were one of the boys.”
The woman’s strength was impressive. She hauled the massive cauldron off the fire and then set it on the kitchen bench.
“I’m sorry.” I don’t even know where that came from, but I was stammering it out. “I could go and get them if you want?”
“Sorry? Sorry?” She shook her head and then wiped her hands on her apron. “Gods above, I’m the one who should be apologising. Or Ivy, if she emerges out of that room anytime soon. Sorry my unruly child decided that last night was the best time to declare her feelings for Dain.” Her eyes met mine. “Sorry we didn’t have a proper welcome prepared for your arrival.”
“Oh, there’s no need to make a fuss on my account,” I said, then winced. “Though that seemed to have happened despite myself last night. We had a little too much to drink, and I opened the wrong door by mistake.”
“A mistake you wouldn’t have been able to make if Dain’s room was locked as it usually is.” Elsie shook her head. “The children all call each other brother and sister, because that’s the way we’ve run this family, but Ivy is no blood relation of Dain’s. She doesn’t get a lot of opportunity to meet suitable young menall the way out here and I think that’s why she set her cap for Dain.”
She drew out a chair and then indicated I should do the same.
“I love my children, whether they were born from my body or brought here as war orphans. Truly I do, but sometimes they do things that are just maddening. I’m sorry you saw all of those drawings. It must’ve been a terrible shock. This is not at all the way I intended to greet the woman my sons’ have decided to court.”
“Seems like we’re both very sorry,” I said with a smile.
“While those bloody sons of mine sleep off the ale upstairs, no doubt snoring their heads off.” She returned my smile. “Men are fools, I’ll tell you that for free, and none worse than my sons. One is hard enough to manage. Are you sure you want four husbands?”
“I’m not sure of anything,” I said, pulling a mug closer after Elsie poured out the tea. The willow bark was sweetened somewhat with honey, but the acrid taste was still there. “To be honest, I didn’t even know what any of them intended until last night.” A slow sip gave me a moment to think. My head was still throbbing murderously, making that a painful experience. “Still don’t when it comes to Dain.”
“You just have to look at the four of them to know what they want.” Her hand stretched out across the table and gave mine a squeeze. “Even Dain. He…” She shook her head. “That’s not my story to tell. None of them have ever brought a girl around here, if that helps clear things up. That lieutenant of yours…” Lance was mine? I remembered his words, but felt like I was still trying to digest them. “I know young Lacey would be pleased if he looked at her the way he does at you.”
“It’s not something I noticed,” I replied, the warmth of the mug, the willow bark doing its work, helped me relax back into my chair. “I thought Lance was just being friendly and Kael was…”
