This time, when she climaxed, she kept her eyes open, looking at him as she cried out, and he kissed her with a clumsy mouth, not slowing his pace, his body tightening around her.
Too soon, this was happening too soon. She wasn’t ready for it to be over.
As though he read her mind, he abruptly slowed, sweat gleaming on his skin and his breathing elevated.
“As long as you need,” he said, cupping her jaw.
Forever.
But that was too much. He only meant now; he could give her a few more minutes of bliss now if she needed it.
Conversely, if they’d had more time together in London, she might have asked him to give her a little longer now, but knowing this was to end made every second bittersweet, and there was only so much she could take.
“Now,” she whispered.
A shudder rolled through him and his eyes became unfocused. As though her voice alone had undone him, a moan slipped from his lips, and he withdrew from her in a sharp motion, taking himself in hand. Annabelle watched in fascinated amazement as he emptied himself across her stomach.
“So you don’t get with child,” he explained when he saw her confusion. “At least, the best way I know how without a French letter.”
Annabelle was too depleted to ask what that was. He rose and found a rag, coming back to clean her off with tender, gentle movements. She tucked herself against his body and, just for a few more precious moments, let herself just be.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Under usual circumstances, Jacob was not one to cuddle, but when he opened his eyes again, the sun was setting and Annabelle was tucked against his chest, her breath flowering across his skin.
He could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve her.
But he wanted to. And he closed his eyes against the strength of that desire, because it was crumbling his every resistance. The scars on his back ached, and he was reminded yet again that he had removed his shirt. She had seen all of him, even the unpleasant parts, and she hadn’t run screaming from the room. She had wanted todefendhim.
He pressed a kiss to her temple, waking her. She stirred sleepily, and then her eyes widened as she took in the passage of time. She sat, reaching to cover herself. He caught her wrist and kissed her shoulder.
“Don’t be ashamed, little bird.”And don’t regret this.
He could bear her marrying another—he thought. That was the punishment he had chosen for himself, and he would find a way to endure her being happy with another gentleman. But if she looked at him with disgust now this was over, he didn’t think he could ever endure that.
“No, I should just—I should return home.”
“Let me send you back in a carriage,” he said. That was one point he was determined to be firm on. Historycould notrepeat itself. No matter what, he would protect her reputation.
And her reputation would be better protected by another man, one whom her brother didn’t despise and actively speak out against.
She blinked several times, and he realised with belated horror that her eyes were glassy with tears. Helplessness swamped him, and he swiped under her cheeks with his thumb. “No, don’t cry,” he said softly. “Not over me.”
“I just don’t want to say goodbye.” She shook her head and pushed away from him, finding her discarded clothes. “But we must.”
“This doesn’t change anything.” He watched her, unable to look away although he knew he should. The imprint of her naked form would be forever etched in his mind. He would never be able to escape her, no matter how far he ran. “I will still find you a suitable husband.”
She snorted, a not unreasonable response. “I don’t want a suitable husband,” she said, sliding her chemise over her head.
The temptation to ask her to marry him, damn the consequences, was almost overwhelming. He gritted his teeth. The Devil of St James didn’t have a heart; everyone knew that. Annabelle had known that going in.Heknew that.
Whatever obsession he was in the throes of, it would fade with time.
If he married her, they would have children. The Barrington line would continue despite his every effort to the contrary. The family he had grown up to hate would live on in their children, and that felt like a betrayal.
“What do you want?” he asked.
She gave him a sad smile as she turned, offering him her back. “Would you do up my stays and dress?”
