His jaw clenched and she could see how urgently he longed to disagree with her. Their father had never been much involved in their lives, being too busy gambling away their fortune, and Henry had quickly assumed the role of heir and protector.
But this was Annabelle’s concern. Once, she might have been perfectly happy to let Henry assume control of her life, purely because she did believe he had her best interests at heart. Things had changed since then, however—shehad changed.
Jacob had changed her.
“I understand the circumstances behind your engagement now,” he said. “And I want you to know something—you may feel as though you have no choice but to see it through, but you must know that I will support you if you decide to break it off.”
“Henry.” She finally dragged her gaze away from the book and to her brother’s face. This was unexpectedly sweet. “I appreciate the offer, but—”
“As it happens, I know of some other gentlemen who might better take your fancy,” he said, heedless of the way her face fell again. “They are more scholarly, like you, and I think you would like them.”
“And if, Henry, I wished to end my engagement and not marry at all?”
He gave her a puzzled smile. “And do what, Anna? Live in Hardinge’s house for the rest of your life? It’s not a future you would enjoy, believe me. The spinster aunt?” He gave a short laugh and Annabelle pressed her lips together at the sudden wave of grim shame that overtook her.
As it happened, that had been her plan until recently. To live with either Theo or her mother and fill her days with reading and walking and the quiet joys of life.
But maybe Theo would not want her. Maybe hermotherwould not.
If shedidn’tmarry, where would she go?
Her heart twisted at the thought of standing in a church with another gentleman, one who didn’t have eyes like midnight sin and a mouth that could tempt even the pure to his unholy ways. How could she ever commit her life to a gentleman who didn’t box with his bare fists, who didn’t drink to drown whatever pain she still didn’t understand, and who didn’t touch her as though she was the most precious thing he had ever held?
She inhaled deeply, but the familiar scent of freshly printed books didn’t calm her the way it usually did.
The answer was she couldn’t. If he continued not to want to marry her, then she would have to find another way through life that didn’t involve marriage.
“Are you certain you want to marry him?” Henry asked when she didn’t speak. “Is he pressuring you into the match?”
“Pressuring me?”
“I understand Nathanial gave you a generous dowry.”
“And you think Lord Sunderland is after me for my money?”
Henry shrugged. “Stranger things have happened. The more money he has, the more he can waste at card tables.”
And here she had been thinking Henry was trying to support her. “And if I told you he had no interest in my dowry?”
The corner of Henry’s mouth curled in distaste. “You mean to tell me he’s in love with you?”
No.
If he loved her the way he had loved Madeline, he would already have married her. Instead, he was doing his best to marry her off to another gentleman.
Her stomach turned and she swallowed back the sour taste.
“I just want you to be happy,” Henry said. “And I know what that man is capable of. The lives he’s ruined.”
“That’s enough,” Annabelle snapped, unable to listen to him any longer. “If I require your advice, you may be sure I will ask for it.”
Henry’s brows drew together. “Annabelle, I—”
“Jacob has been kind to me and yes, I’m sure he has done some terrible things in his past, but he has not been terrible tome, and I will not be persuaded to change my mind about marrying him or anyone else.”
Not that there would be anyone else.
The next time they met, she would ask him once and for all if he would ever marry her, and if he would not, she would end the engagement. Reputation be damned. Now Henry was back, he could keep the family afloat, maybe marry a nice girl, and she could go back to her quiet life in the country. If no one wanted her, she would take an occupation somewhere. A governess, perhaps. Or a companion. That would be enough of what she wanted to be happy.
