Lana studied Christy for several seconds trying to fight the tears threatening to fall. She still had a hard time believing that her father was really gone for good.
“Me, too. Thank you for everything you’ve done for my dad. I just wish he’d told me about him being sick.” Lana sighed heavily as they walked back to their vehicles.
On the drive back to her dad’s, she called her captain to let her know the situation and that she was sending Rocky and Sunny home on the next available flight. She wanted to cry when she was told to let them stay since she knew Lana was vulnerable right now.
The next twenty-four hours were hell on Lana and her nerves. Her father’s landline kept ringing, as well as people stopping by to offer their condolences.
She honestly was surprised by the number of people calling or stopping by since her father had always been a workaholic for as long as she remembered, after her mother had passed away. Many were people who had worked under him at the plant he’d helped open and operate her senior year of high school.
Everyone in Hellburn Falls knew she was back to bury her father and handle his estate before going back to Texas. Since no one had mentioned Jayson Kenwood, she assumed she didn’t have to worry about him being at her father’s memorial.
All he’d ever talked about in high school was making a career out of the Army while he was in. He was probably now married to the girl he’d cheated on her with and had more kids by her. She just prayed he never knew her secret.
“You ready, Ice?” Rocky walked up to her, studying her intensely.
They were at the funeral home getting ready to start the memorial. She wasn’t ready for this day to start, but she sure as hell was ready for it to end.
“Yeah. Can you give me a minute alone with my dad?”
“Sure. I’ll hold the wolves at bay for a bit for you.”
Lana waited until Rocky and Sunny had taken the kids with them out of the room. She turned around and placed her hands on her father’s urn as she let her tears flow.
“Hi, Daddy. Hope you’ve found Mom already. I really miss you. Sorry I wasn’t a better daughter. We lost so much time because of my foolishness. Now Jay and Dani won’t know their grandpa. I wish you had told me you were sick, Daddy. I love you. Give Mommy a hug and kiss for me, yeah?”
Lana sighed deeply and bowed her head for a silent prayer. When she opened her eyes, she saw one of the funeral home attendants standing off to the side.
“Are you ready, ma’am? Ms. Christy is here and ready to start when you are.”
“Yes. Thank you, we can start now.”
Lana opened the packet of Kleenex that Rocky had given her and wiped her eyes of the tears that had slid down her face. Once Rocky, Sunny, the twins, and Christy had joined her, she nodded at the attendant.
“I’ll sit over here,” Christy advised, moving to the second row pew.
“No. You helped my father in the last year of his life. You deserve to be here more than I do. Please stay with us.” Lana smiled at the woman. “You were more of a daughter to my dad while he was sick more than I have ever been.”
“Lana, your dad loved you. He was too proud to admit how proud of you he was after the two of you had argued about joining the Army. He was also proud to be a grandfather to your two amazing twins. Don’t ever think that he wasn’t. He kept pictures of you and your kids with him in his room at hospice and at home.”
Lana looked at Christy in shock. She’d always thought her dad had been disappointed in her and the choices she’d made in her life.
“We will talk more after this, before you head back to Texas.”
“He didn’t even tell me he was sick or that he was dying. That hurt more than his anger at me for joining the Army,” Lana admitted out loud.
“Yeah, that was one of our biggest arguments. We will talk about it all more later. Let’s get through this then the wake, after that, we will sit down and talk about everything with your dad.”
Lana looked into Christy’s eyes and saw the sincerity there. She took a deep fortifying breath and nodded at the woman, ready to face the day.
She could do this. She could get through the memorial and the wake afterwards.
Squeezing Christy’s hand, she nodded twice before closing her eyes and rebuilt her walls. There was a reason she was called “Ice” by her teammates and suspects.
Turning toward the doors, she sighed deeply again. “Let’s get this over with.”
Lana was surprised by the sheer number of people who had come to pay their respects to her father. She smiled as best as she could but had let Christy handle it all.
When she got too overwhelmed, she would look over to the side and see Rocky and Sunny with the twins, looking at books or coloring with them. That was her centering focus, watching her twins enjoy an unblemished life.
