"I've heard about it all morning," Sawyer says, giving Mama a hug. "I can't wait."
My mind isn’t here, but I’m trying. I reach out, arm sliding around Winnie’s shoulders as she leans into me. She’s talking, words tumbling over each other as she goes on about the bakery, but I can’t focus or make out what she’s saying.
I steal a glance at Sawyer again, just a flicker, enough to see Mama handing her a plate. As Winnie and I take a seat on the patio couches, I watch closely as they move together towards the cooler, and I feel a pull—a desire to know whathas them both smiling so hard. But then Winnie shifts beside me, her head resting back on my shoulder. And even as I sit here, with Winnie's warmth pressed against me, I'm not really here. Not fully.
My brothers shuffle in one by one. Knox slides onto the bench near us, a plate loaded sky high with Mama's homemade food in his hands, Sawyer following suit.
"Man, Trouble," Rogue drawls from across the table, a lopsided grin on his face as he nods toward Winnie. "You've been wearin' that same scowl for a few days now. Good thing this one's here to sweeten you up."
I can feel the weight of Sawyer's gaze on me. "I'm the lucky one," Winnie says. "He always makes my day more special."
My eyes find Sawyer’s, and there's a question there—one I'm not sure I have the answer to.
Rogue continues. "If Winnie can put up with you, you oughta put a ring on it."
Laughter ripples across the table, and I glance at Sawyer again. Those eyes of hers shift into something darker now. It isn't just annoyance, it almost looks like she’s hurt. Sawyer stands then picks up her plate, and my chest tightens. Sittin’ here with all these unsaid words between us feels like sittin’ on a bull, just waitin’ for the gate to blow.
"Knox, I need to go take care of something," Sawyer says.
"What? Now?" Knox asks, mid-bite.
"Yeah… everything’s all good," she says with a tight smile. "I’ll catch back up with you later."
I can tell she’s lying by the way she wont look in my direction, how her fingers tap anxiously on her phone as she looks down at it.
"Alright," Knox replies. "Let me know if you need anything."
I should look away, not give a damn. My focus remains on Sawyer as she makes her way out, and the distance grows between us.
"Well, y'all wanna go grab some of Mama's pie? Won't last long," Rogue asks the table.
Feet shuffle, chairs scrape back, but I'm not moving.
I shouldn't care if she doesn’t want to be around Winnie and me. This is where I should be, even if it’s here and struggling between what I want and what I can't have.
"You should go after her," Winnie whispers, straightening beside me.
"What?"
"Trouble, I know you think I'm this naive girl, but I notice everything that goes on around here, and I’ve noticed everything from the moment she got here. I've felt it. It’s hard to miss the tension between you two."
"Winnie..."
“You’re a good man,” she says softly, before she leans in and kisses my cheek—gentle, understanding. “Even if you don’t see it yet… and somewhere deep down I’ll always hope that one day you’ll want me as badly as I want you. But more than that, I want you to really feel love. The way that I’ve felt about you... It’s hard to explain, but I feel it in my chest, in my bones. Sometimes it hurts, can be more painful than pain itself. But it’s worth it, and right now… I think your heart’s chasing someone else. If that’s true, you owe it to yourself to see it through.”
"You're too good for someone like me, you know that right?" I ask, searching her face.
“Oh, I know," Winnie murmurs. "But I still like you anyway."
"And I got no idea why." My voice is gravelly as she gives me a hug then stands before she leaves me.
The sky starts to darken, and everyone quickly moves to pack up before the rain hits. I head straight for my motorcycle. There’s a storm out ahead in the distance, and I don’t think, I just start chasing it like it’s got all the answers I need. Like somehow it’ll lead me to her. Always does lately.
Wind cuts across the open road, howling in my ears as the motorcycle roars beneath me, steady and familiar. I have never run from storms. Always ride straight into ‘em.
The scent of rain hits before the first drop does. Out here, with thunder growling above and the sky split wide open, there’s no one asking questions. No judgement, no one waiting for explanations. Just me, the wind, and my granddaddy all around me.
But I can’t get Sawyer off my mind, and damn, I’ve tried.
