“And what, there aren’t any other jobs out there?”
“Things are always so simple with you,” she says, shaking her head. “But for me, nothing’s ever that simple. Every choice I make… it matters.”
I lean back, boots scraping the porch steps. “You talkin’ about your job or your ex?”
For a moment, Sawyer's silent. She bites her lip, and damn if that simple act doesn't almost unravel me, stirring up something deep and dangerous. It's the kind of thing that shouldn't even register to me, but I notice.
She doesn’t look at me right away. “All of it.”
“What’s the issue? If people don’t treat you the way they should, if they don’t give you what you deserve? Fuck ’em. Your man, your job, all of it.”
For the first time, her gaze locks on mine, sharp but searching. “Harrison is not my man.”
"So you’ve said. Does he know that?" The words slip out, rough-edged and low.
“You talk like you’ve got it all figured out. Have you never actually been in arelationship?”
I’ve never wanted to be in one, never thought it mattered.
My pulse ticks faster, though I keep my face easy. “I don’t like labels.”
“Admit it. Label or not, all relationships are complicated.”
It pisses me off that she’s clingin’ to whatever that mess with her ex is. Hate that she’s callin’ it a damn relationship. I lean forward, resting my elbows on my knees as the sky cracks open with another roar. “Complicated,” I echo. “I don’t really think they’re all that complicated.”
She turns to me, one brow raised. “That sounds like something a man says when he’s avoiding them.”
“So now you’re gonna lecture me about settlin’ down? Careful now, you’re startin’ to sound just like my mama.”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Well you don’t exactly scream, ‘I can’t wait to purchase an engagement ring’.”
“That’s not me, sweetheart. One saddle, one rider. Always been that way, always will be.”
There’s a flicker in her expression—something between curiosity and disappointment—but it fades fast. She’s good at hiding things. I’m better.
I glance out across the dark, open land again.
“I think you know exactly where you stand with someone though,” I add, voice quieter now. “Whether they show you with their actions or tell you with their words—you know.”
"Oh really?" Her voice sharpens again, that tone I’m used to. "And what about Winnie?"
My gaze narrows, honing in on Sawyer like she's the only thing that exists in this wild night air. She's been watching, really watching me, to pick up on the tangle of whatever me and Winnie got—or ain't got. "What about her?"
"I see the way she looks at you," she says, voice softening again as the rumble of distant thunder starts back up. "She adores you. Head over heels, even. Do you make it clear with her about where you stand?"
I smirk, the kind that knows more than it's tellin', and I lean back again as I look up. "She knows where we stand," I say, simply. "I'm trouble, darlin'. You always know where you stand with me. You always know what you’re getting. I don't sugarcoat for no one."
It’s the truth. Life is too damn fast to be hidin' behind lies. You gotta live it for yourself because once it’s taken, you don’t get it back. There are no second chances. You can’t live it for no one but you.
It’s quiet for a moment, all I hear is the clink of ice against glass as she shifts. Sawyer's eyes lock onto mine, dark blue and cloudy like the sky right before all hell breaks loose. She finishes her drink, one smooth tilt of her head back, and sets the glass down. "Alright then, if you're so honest, tell me how you feel about me.”
For once, I’ve got nothing to say. No smart-ass comment. No sly charm to hide behind.
Just silence. And the pounding truth.
I want to tell her everything. That I’ve been off balance since the first damn second I saw her—when she looked at me like she already knew I’d be trouble. Even when she’s driving me insane, even when she’s a pain in the ass, she’s still there—taking up my thoughts, making it impossible to focus on anything but her.
But I can’t say that. I won’t.
