And right now, that small mercy is the only thing keeping me together. If he truly believed I was somehow involved in his father’s death, he wouldn’t have rescued me from thefrigorifer.He would have let me rot in there, or worse—done the torturing himself.
I gulp past my aching throat and rest my head more firmly against his chest, letting the hard, fast rhythm of his heartbeat soothe me.
21
ROAN
Anger tears through me like a sledgehammer to the solar plexus, and I let it take over, let it burn through the numbness because it’s better than the helplessness. Better than the fucking grief that’s clawing at my insides, just waiting for the moment I let my guard down so it can devour me whole.
I can’t afford to feel that right now. Not when everything is falling apart. Not when my father’s body is in the main house and the oppressive silence blanketing the entire estate is louder than it’s ever been. It’s like even the air itself has gone thick and heavy with collective sadness.
Jonas examinedAtëafter I laid him down on his bed. He has no marks anywhere on his body. No bruises. No signs of struggle or foul play. Just another heart attack. Sudden and clean.
But clean doesn’t make it any easier to swallow.
And the CCTV footage—fuck.
The camera positioned outside his office showed it clear as day. He was already gone before Katie even walked in. She didn’t touch him before he died. Couldn’t have. But because of everything we’ve recently discovered about her, because of thelies and her calculated deception, Dhimitër has every reason to be suspicious. He has all the same information I do, except for her real name—hell if I know why I’m still holding that back from him.
So yeah, I can’t blame him. It makes sense from his perspective. But it doesn’t change the fact that I want to break his fucking jaw for putting her in that freezer without my permission.
Meanwhile, I’m no better. I should’ve listened to my gut and forcedAtëto install a camera inside his office too. But I let it slide when he refused, when he insisted he deserved privacy, that his every action didn’t need to be recorded and monitored. Said anyone who wanted to kill him would have to do it to his face.
Turns out death didn’t wait for an enemy to show up. It just fucking took him.
And I was right down the fucking hallway the entire time.
I shove open the door to my house with my shoulder and walk in, Katie still shaking in my arms like a goddamn leaf caught in a storm, and it makes my stomach knot because I know what that cold does to a person.
A presence behind me pulls my attention—Dhimitër, planted in the doorway, watching like he doesn’t trust me to handle this, like he’s waiting for a reason to intervene. My jaw locks hard. “Don’t follow us,” I snap. “Go attend to the men. Make sure they keep the news contained inside the estate for now. No one outside these walls hears a damn thing until I say so.”
He stares at me for a long second, eyes sharp with unspoken questions and warnings he wants to voice. But finally, he nods and steps back.Good.
Because right now, if he says one more fucking word questioning my judgment, I won’t be able to stop myself from doing something I’ll regret. I’m already hanging on by a thread as it is.
I wait until he’s fully gone and the door closes behind him before I continue moving.
I walk down the hallway, carrying Katie up the stairs and past her room without even consciously thinking about it. My body moves on pure instinct, my arms tightening around her every time she shivers, though I notice with some relief that the shivers are gradually getting less violent and farther apart.
Still, I don’t stop until we’re in my room. Not sure why. Maybe because it’s the only place in this entire estate that doesn’t feel completely fucking wrong right now. The only place that doesn’t feel like a waking nightmare I can’t escape from.
I head straight into the bathroom, set her down gently on the closed toilet lid, and immediately start running the water in the tub, making it as hot as it’ll go without being dangerous. Steam rises almost instantly, filling the bathroom with thick moisture, and I test it with my hand before turning my attention back to her.
She’s barely holding herself upright, still shaking uncontrollably. There’s no way she’s going to be able to undress herself in this condition.
Dispassionately, I lift her to her feet and help her undo the buttons of her shirt, peeling the damp fabric away to reveal a pretty pink bra. But the goosebumps on her skin distract me from any appreciation of what I’m seeing, and I work faster, removing the rest of her clothes until she’s standing completely naked in front of me.
Cradling her carefully, I carry her over to the hot bath and ease her into the water. She shudders at the sudden warmth, her eyes sliding shut, and I take it as a sign it must feel good. “Get warm,” I say quietly, my voice rough from holding too much in.
I don’t wait for her answer. I can’t.
I walk out and leave her there, closing the door behind me.
The room hits me with too much quiet, too much fucking darkness as I cross to the bed and drop onto the edge. I yank the tie from my hair and let the strands fall loose, then drag my fingers through my scalp like I’m trying to claw the unbearable tension straight out of my skull.
A list of everything I’ll have to do now crowds in all at once, stacking pressure in my head until it’s hard to breathe. But one thing outweighs anything else.
I fold forward with my fists tangled in my hair, elbows biting into my knees, my pulse roaring in my ears.
