Control.
That was his credo for everything he did, especially in the kink realm. And he could sense the damage she’d sustained beneath the bravado. Of course, some of it he’d witnessed himself, seeing her with her asshole ex. And she’d told him a bit more that night at the firepit. He needed to be careful with her, and that meant keeping his shit together, which was something she challenged head-on in a way no one ever had.
Brody:
Yeah, of course. Do you want to meet after your shift today?
Claudia:
Yes, that sounds good.
Brody:
How about we meet down at the barn? I’m sure we can find a quiet corner where we can talk.
Claudia:
The barn is perfect. I’m done with work at five.
Brody:
Great! I’ll meet you there at five-thirty.
He’d need to get his head on straight before he saw her. He decided to take one of the horses out for a ride up the mountain—being out in nature and working with animals always helped him feel more grounded. But he couldn’t lie to himself about how badly he’d need that grounding. It had been less than twenty-four hours in the same place as Claudia and he was already spun hard.
He did a two-hour trail ride on Magic, a huge black gelding with just enough spirit to make the ride fun. The gorgeous scenery and the rhythm of the horse’s feet hitting the dirt beneath him did a lot to soothe his soul, but by the time he’d gone back to his apartment to shower and change he was practically aching to see her. In fact, his cock was hard and aching as he stood under the hot water, and he had to force himself to keep his hands busy with soap and washcloth rather than getting himself off to the images of her running through his head. He was actually afraid if he let the control go even that much, he’d be done for.
At exactly five-thirty Brody walked back into the barn. He paused to pet Alfie as he walked past his stall, then he found a nice bale of hay covered with a blanket to sit on. He’d just gotten settled when Claudia came in.
“Claudia? Over here,” he called out, waving her over.
She smiled as she approached, and he had a few moments to appreciate that gentle sway of her hips as she walked toward him.
He got to his feet and gestured for her to sit before resettling himself beside her. “Glad you’re here,” he told her. “And really glad you texted me.”
“Are you?” she asked, a little breathlessness in her tone.
Was it nerves? Excitement? He didn’t know yet. He didn’t mind her being a bit nervous, as long as it was nervous anticipation.
“Yeah, of course I am,” he answered, and as her brown gaze met his, it felt as if sparks were flickering in the air between them like fireflies—that delicate, that magical. Or maybe it was the amber glints in her irises catching the light overhead. “So, you wanted to talk more about what we discussed yesterday?”
“Yes, I do. I know you wanted me to think about it, but I already knew yesterday that I wanted to go to the Dungeon with you. And I hope you don’t think that’s too forward, but I’ve learned fairly recently that if I want something out of life, I have to be willing to take the first step.”
“Not forward at all, and I appreciate you being so up front with me. I’m big on consent, so this really had to be up to you. I’m already in. We still have to go through the negotiation process, and that takes a little time. And we need to get to know each other a bit more so we have some context for the negotiations. I know we’ve met and talked a few times, and we have Micah and Arrow in common, but we don’t really know each other yet, and I’d like to. It’s important for me.”
“That makes sense,” she said.
She was biting her lip, and he wasn’t totally convinced she felt the same about getting to know each other, but that part was a non-negotiable for him in this case. Maybe going through that process would help her see why he felt the need to do it. Becauseit wasn’t just that this was likely going to be more than pickup play. It wasn’t all about things like preferred toys and activities and hard limits. It was about the emotions that were going to come up during play, as well as after, and maybe even before. And he was just realizing it wasn’t going to be only on her end. Whatever chemistry they had went somewhere beyond the mere physical, and he was still trying to figure it out. But he knew he had to go with his gut on this.
“So, what do you want to know?” she asked.
“All the things,” he answered with a smile. “I’m only partly joking. It’s important, for a lot of reasons, but of course, you don’t have to share anything you’re not comfortable sharing. But I will tell you this: if you have a trigger that you keep from me, and I inadvertently trigger you during a scene because you didn’t tell me about it, the play is over. I’ll provide aftercare—always. But the scene will be done, and we’ll be done. Your honesty is how I can protect you. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
She nodded, her eyes going a little misty, and he thought she might be slipping into subspace just from the tone of his voice. But he meant what he’d said.
“Claudia. I need you to say the words.”
She nodded once more. “Yes, I understand. I do.”
