“Claudia, it’s only eight years. And I see more every day how much we’re on the same page about so many things. The kind of life we want, which is the most important thing, I think. The way we value our friends. The way we love animals. Even our taste in music is very much the same. And I don’t… well, maybe I’m not the right person to ask, but I don’t think I’m horribly immature for my age.”
“It’s not that.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’smyage, not yours. I’ll age more quickly than you will. My body is already not what it used to be, and I’ll only get older.It’s inevitable. And maybe you don’t notice so much now, but you will. Men always do.”
“That’s the issue? Do you think I’m that shallow?” he said, and she could hear hurt in his voice.
“No, not you. But the whole of society. What will your friends think when they see me?”
He took her chin in his fingers, forcing her to meet his gaze. ‘Claudia, I know you had a shit time with Kenny, that he was a judgy, shallow asshole who gaslit you and put you down. But I’m not him. I understand the trauma he left you with, the self-doubt. But all I want to do is help you to heal from that in whatever way I can. I want you to see yourself for the beautiful, amazing woman you are, and still will be in ten or twenty or thirty years. I want to find a way to help you to never doubt yourself again. You have value as a human being, not only because of the way you look, although you’ll be gorgeous when you’re ninety years old. But the important part is, you’re a beautifulperson. And that’s the woman I’ve fallen in love with.”
“You…what? What did you say?” she asked, her heart suddenly hammering.
“I said I’ve fallen in love with you. I love you, Claudia.”
She was so stunned, she couldn’t answer. She could only use the sleeve of her robe to wipe at the tears that still clung to her face.
“I know this may not be the most romantic scenario to tell you this,” he said. “I’d planned a nice dinner for us on Saturday night. I couldn’t stand to keep it to myself any longer than that. Candlelight, just the two of us. And hell, I’m babbling, and you haven’t said a word…” He wiped her cheeks with his thumbs. “If this is too much, you can tell me so. If you want me to leave, I’ll leave. But I had to tell you. Ihadto.”
“No. No, I don’t want you to go,” she said finally. Then, very quietly, “Please don’t go.”
He held her face in his hands. “Can you tell me how you feel? Can you tell me if you see the possibility of us? Because I do. I see it. I see a future with you.”
And that was it right there: that he saw the possibility, not an impending disappointment. And maybe she could, as well. Maybe, if he had hope, it was okay for her to hope, too.
“I… apparently I still have a lot of work to do.”
“We all do. I told you before I have some shit to figure out. Who I am if not a football player. But I’m figuring it out, bit by bit. And I know now that part of what I want for my future self is to be your man. To be your Dom. To be with you.”
“But, Brody, I’m going to change. We never know what might happen as we get older. I could get sick. And you’re still so young and vibrant. You have your whole life ahead of you.”
“Claudia,” he said, staring into her eyes, locking his gaze there, still cupping her face between his hands. He spoke slowly. “My life ahead is a lifewith you. That’s all I can imagine now. And yes, you’ll get older, but so will I. And yeah, you might get sick, butImight get sick. What happens then? Are you going to leave me when I’m not as strong as I am now? Of course not. One thing I learned from my experience playing football and getting injured, from what happened to my friend Bull, is that we never know what life has in store for us. The one thing we can count on is love, if it’s the real thing. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved—that’s some garbage you still carry around because of your ex, and I get it. That’ll take some time to fade away. And the truth is, none of us are perfect. But you’re perfect for me. And I want to take that chance with you, because if you love me the way I love you, there’s no risk there. We’ll come out ahead no matter what happens.”
“I never thought anyone would say that to me,” she told him, new tears gathering in her eyes, but it wasn’t grief this time. It was hope blooming in her chest. It was love. “And I’m so glad it’syou, Brody. I do love you. I do. And I want to be with you. I was just so afraid.”
“Aw, babygirl. You don’t have to be afraid. I’m here. I’m right here. And I’m not going anywhere without you.”
He pulled her in and kissed her, softly at first, then more hungrily. And she returned his kiss with all the passion she had in her body. All the love she had for him.
He pulled back to murmur, “I love you, baby. So much.”
“And I love you. Sir.”
He smiled, then picked her up in his arms and carried her to the bed, setting her down there.
“I’m going to run a warm shower for us. We’re going to get clean and start over from this moment, all shiny and new. We’re going to make it a little ritual, to let the water take all the fears and doubts away. Because we don’t need that. Because we have love.”
He kissed her forehead, then stepped into the bathroom, and was back a moment later, naked and as beautiful to her as ever. He slipped her robe off and led her into the shower, where he washed her carefully, thoroughly, even though she protested she’d showered less than an hour earlier. It was the taking care of her he needed, she realized. And she needed it, too.
As they stood beneath the spray of warm water, their arms around each other, he murmured to her, “This is when we let go of all the toxic stuff that holds us back. Our insecurities, because we know we have each other’s backs. Our fears, because we know we’ll always take care of each other. Our doubts, because we’re here to tell each other how we love each other every day.”
With each sentence he soaked her scrubbie under the water, then squeezed it out over their shoulders, giving her that sensation to embed the ideas in her mind, in her heart. Giving her something to hold on to in the days to come.
They got out and dried off, and he took her to bed. They lay facing each other as he began to sensually stroke her body, each loving touch leaving a trail of heated desire. And as they came together, body to body, heart to heart, she understood he would chase away her fears when they came back. They would, she knew. She still had a bit of a battle ahead of her to heal the pain she’d carried with her for so long, despite how far she’d come. But this man would never let her suffer with those fears. He would be part of her healing. He already was.
As he entered her body, he whispered, “I love you, my beautiful girl.”
