We bump into the doorframe as we make the final turn into his bedroom. He chuckles against my lips, the husky sound so attractive in and of itself.
It’s clear we’re both uncertain and navigating this moment on the fly. We’re going into this completely trusting each other.
Some would say Silver’s excuses were correct—I’ve simply trauma bonded to him or I’m seeking out some comfort when I should be focusing on stuff like therapy.
But they’d be wrong. They don’t have the first clue what it’s like or what I feel.
I’ve gone from being gaslit by friends and having my experiences downplayed. I was preyed on and made to feel like I didn’t have any choice in what happens.
This is me shattering that narrative; this is me taking control of my life in a way that feels right and safe for me.
Silver’s tongue sweeps into my mouth, tasting and claiming me in a way that makes my body come alive. I arch into him, the heat between us so intense it’s almost dizzying.
One of his hands slides under my shirt, his rough palm on my bare, delicate spine, and a sharp spark jolts through me.
It’s more heat, except this time I shudder as we kiss deeply but slowly.
That’s what I come to learn from Silver about this moment—every move is slow and nuanced, even with the burning passion.
He’s going at a pace that illustrates how I’m his focus. My comfort and safety come first.
I’m lowered onto his bed, the mattress dipping with my weight. He follows me down, his body covering mine. He braces himself on one forearm, his other hand cupping my face as he kisses me even slower, like he’s savoring every second.
When he finally pulls back, his blue eyes are dark, searching mine.
“What do you want now, baby?” he asks, his voice lower than usual, rougher around the edges. “Tell me what else you want.”
My heart flutters inside my chest. Some nerves mixed with excitement.
I admit as bold and confident as I’m trying to be, I’m still a little bashful. I’ve never done anything like this before.
But I do know that this moment couldn’t feel more different than anything with Kel. Even when sober, I never truly felt comfortable around him.
I was more concerned with impressing him. Getting him to like me.
When we started dancing at the club that dark Saturday night, I had wanted so badly for him to want me the way he’d pursued other girls.
…his approval seemed to mean so much in that moment.
Maybe that’s why I let my guard down. Maybe that’s why I trusted him and his friends as they fed me tequila shots laced with ketamine.
Even the morning after, when I woke up naked in his bed, I still wanted so badly to believe the situation could be fixed somehow.
Me, Shay, and Yvette could stay friends. Some date to the movies with Kel meant something.
But I was so wrong. I was trying to cover the tracks of what I knew deep down had happened to me…
Kel used me. He took advantage and tried again the night he showed up at my house and told me about the photos and videos.
I’m fully awake now. I’m aware that he and his friends weren’t good for me.
Silver is a completely different story. Hedoescare about me and he wants the best for me. As he asks me what I want, he holds my gaze and strokes my cheek with his thumb. I’ve never felt more beautiful and appreciated as this amazing man gives me his full, undivided attention.
So I make my next request.
I swallow, feeling heat creep up to my face. “Kiss me please. Everywhere. I just… I want to feel your lips on me.”
A slow smile curves his mouth, a wicked warmth flickering in his eyes. “Yes, ma’am. I’m at your service tonight.”
