This is the only way she’s getting any sleep tonight. I climb in next to her, aware how I’ll regret this come morning. But I can’t bring myself to turn her away as she immediately curls into me, laying her head on my chest.
My arms naturally come down around her, holding her in place.
No words are spoken. No words are necessary.
We lie together taking comfort in each other’s presence ’til eventually her breathing evens out. Her body goes lax with sleep.
I’m awake for a while longer, holding this woman who’s half my age. Yet she’s become everything I want no matter what reason tells me.
My eyes close as I accept tomorrow will bring more complications. But for tonight, at least she’s safe in my arms.
18
SOLANA
I waketo an empty space beside me that was once filled. For a few seconds, I’m disoriented, rubbing my eyes as my mind retraces last night.
Kel’s hands on me. The knife sliding into his stomach. His blood on my bedroom floor. Digging his grave in the desert. Falling asleep in Silver’s arms.
But instead of panic or confusion, I feel...rested.
For the first time in weeks—maybe even months—I actually slept through the night. I was safe and warm and at ease.
I stretch in Silver’s bed, not exactly ready to leave this cocoon and face the world outside. But as I lie here, breathing in the scent of him on the pillows, I slowly come to terms with a dark truth that should probably disturb me but doesn’t.
I don’t regret killing Kel.
…not even a little bit.
Maybe I’m even proud of it, in some twisted way.
When he had me pinned, trying to do it again, I didn’t freeze. I didn’t become his victim or be the helpless girl he clearly thought of me as.
I stopped him.Permanently.
Kel was a predator who drugged me, raped me, then came back to do it again while threatening to destroy my life with blackmail.
There’s no telling how many others he’s done the same to, but something tells me I wasn’t the first.
He deserved what he got. I’m simply the one who gave it to him.
I’ve spent a long time being unsure of who I am and yearning to feel accepted and be seen. But I’m not the insecure girl who thought changing my clothes would make me a new person. Or that becoming a famous actress would finally make people care about me.
I’m braver, bolder than I’ve ever realized, and I don’t need to take on a different character to pretend I’m those things. It’s who I really was all along.
The smell of coffee finally draws me from bed. I pad downstairs in Silver’s oversized clothes, finding him at his kitchen table. He’s got a mug in one hand, scrolling through Kel’s phone with the other.
“Coffee’s fresh,” he says without looking up. “I don’t have much for breakfast—I can’t cook worth a damn—but there’s cereal in the pantry. The kind Jack likes with the marshmallows.”
I laugh softly and say, “Pass. I’ll take some coffee though.”
I pour myself a cup and add some creamer and sugar before joining him at the table.
The morning sun pours into the room and catches the silver tones in his hair, highlighting the lines of concentration around his eyes and the chiseled angle of his jaw.
He looks so…experienced. So mature in the most attractive, masculine way that it makes my belly ripple with butterflies.
“How’d you sleep?” he asks, still focused on the phone.
