Fuck. I’m really getting used to Elodie being in my life.
And that’s exactly what I can’t do.
“So, have you thought about what you’re gonna do when Elodie leaves?” Rhonan asks as he puts two more chips on his bet.
“Not at all.”
“You probably should. It could take months for you to find someone else. Getting Elodie to agree to help you on a whim was sheer luck, my friend.”
“Yeah, don’t I know it.”
“I could ask Joanne if she knows anyone interested in the job,” he suggests.
“Having an older nanny might prevent you from developing feelings for that one,” Fletcher teases, and I chuck a few pretzels at him this time.
Elliot chokes on his beer. “Aw, Fletch. It’s good to have you around more, buddy.”
“Happy to be here, boys. And you guys are still interested in coming to Charlotte next month for a game, right? I need to let the team manager know to reserve a box.”
The three of us nod. “You know I’m fucking there,” Elliot says.
“Are you gonna bring Remy?” Rhonan asks me.
“I—I guess so. Otherwise, I’d have to leave her with Elodie.”
“What if you brought both of them?” Fletcher suggests. “I’m sure Elodie would enjoy a game. Laney mentioned that she watched football growing up.”
Yet another detail about my nanny that my friends have learned first.
Shrugging, I say, “I could.” Then I turn back to Rhonan. “Are you gonna bring Ellis?”
“Depends on Joanne’s schedule. I mean, I know I’ll enjoy the game far more without her there. An almost five-year-old doesn’t exactly sit still long enough for me to watch a football game.”
“Remy can just sit on my lap.”
Rhonan laughs. “Yeah, for now. But in a few months, she’s going to be crawling, and then she’s not going to want to be held.” He pats meon the shoulder. “You think the sleep deprivation is rough? Just wait until she starts moving. That’s when life really starts to change.”
Jesus Christ.
Just when I start to get the hang of things, it looks like life is going to change yet again.
***
When I walk into my house a few hours later, the silence is unsettling. “Elodie?” I call out, but there’s no reply. The faint sound of the shower running hits my ears, and that’s when I realize she must be in the bathroom.
Walking down the hallway, I head for my room to check on Remy. I still haven’t put a room together for her, but having her sleep in my bedroom makes the late night and early morning wake-ups easier. Elodie has been asking me when I plan to put together Remy’s own space, but I just haven’t had the time.
That’s a lie, Henley. You have. You’ve just been too busy talking to your nanny in the evenings to focus on anything else.
When I walk into my room, I see Remy sleeping peacefully in her crib. She’s almost four months old now which doesn’t seem possible. The past month has felt so long and yet terrifyingly fast at the same time. Her lips purse in her sleep, making me smile. Her hands are balled up in fists by the sides of her head, and her lashes are fluttering as she dreams.
I wonder what babies dream about.
I want to lean down and kiss her head, but don’t want to wake her up at the same time. Instead, I head for my closet, change out of my jeans and shirt and into some pajama pants with a plain white shirtbefore heading toward the kitchen for a glass of water. But as I stalk back down the hallway, I run smack into Elodie as she steps out of the bathroom.
“Ooof!”
“Shit!”
