“Mother fucker,” Fletcher says, grumbling as Rhonan takes the chips from all of us. “Anyway…do you think Elodie’s parents will show up tomorrow?” he asks, redirecting the conversation back to my issue.
“I honestly don’t know. Her dad said that he had to work, but her mom made it sound like she’d be there.”
“What if she doesn’t show?” Rhonan asks.
I push a hand through my hair and lift my soda to my lips since I still haven’t touched alcohol since the night out with Warren. “I think as long as we’re all there, Elodie will be okay. Truth be told, we’ve given her more support in a few months than her parents have her whole damn life.”
“So does this mean she’s still planning on leaving before Christmas?” Rhonan asks as he passes the cards to Fletcher to deal next.
“I don’t know, and part of me doesn’t even want to fucking ask.”
Fletcher slaps me on the shoulder. “Dude…”
“I know, but…”
“Do you want her to stay?” he asks.
Yes, my mind says, but my mouth says otherwise. “I—I don’t know what I want. All I know is that I have feelings for the woman I hired to be my nanny but has turned into so much more than that, and I don’t know what to fucking do about it.”
Rhonan clears his throat. “Crazy hearing you admit that, man.”
“Does that mean the shit-talking is about to begin?”
Rhonan shakes his head. “No. In fact, I was just going to say that hearing you say that out loud shows how much you’ve changed in the past three months. I’m—I’m fucking impressed. You took your role as a father seriously from the start, Henley.” With a dip of his chin, he continues. “That first night you went home with Remy to now? Look at how far you’ve come. It’s not easy raising a child on your own. Trust me, I know.”
“Well, none of my confidence and skills would exist without Elodie.”
Fletcher shuffles the cards. “Then ask her to stay.”
“And what if she says no?” I counter. “I’ll be right back where I’ve always been—alone.”
Elliot throws his hands in the air. “Then who the fuck are we?”
“You know what I mean,” I say, twisting to face him, but he cuts me off before I can continue.
“No, I don’t. In fact, the three of you are the people I can depend on to be there more than anyone. Did I read that wrong? Is it just me who feels that way?” he says, looking to Rhonan and Fletcher.
“You don’t get it,” I argue before they can chime in.
“No,youdon’t.” Elliot’s jaw tightens. “I’ve been going through the shittiest time of my life, Henley, and I know I’ve been an asshole. But I also know that you three will be there no matter how ugly it gets.”
“You still have your family, though,” I reply. “My family is Dilynne.”
“What about Carol and Nick?” Fletcher adds. “Pretty sure they’ve been better parents to you than your own.”
“Yeah, out of obligation. And if I ask Elodie to stay, I’m afraid she’ll either stay because she feels obligated or leave because Iforced her hand. I don’t want her to make the decision because I asked her to. I want her to make the best decision for herself.”
Rhonan furrows his brow. “Do you honestly think that Carol and Nick have stayed in your life out of obligation? When you wrote that letter to the deputy district attorney, asking for you and Dilynne to stay in their care until you both turned eighteen, you know they did that by choice, right? Because they love you.”
“It’s not real love,” I blurt before I can stop myself.
My three best friends stare back at me, bewildered.
“Holy shit,” Fletcher says. “That’s what you think?”
“It’s what I know,” I grate out, pointing a finger to the felt under my hands as I clench my jaw. “And I made peace with it a long time ago.”
Rhonan scoffs. “Wow, Henley. Jesus, I never realized you were so fucking clueless.”
