“Do you want Robert to kiss you?”
Olivia burst into tears.
23: Of Love And Happiness
Olivia wept for a long time, while her sister held her tightly. What she was weeping for, she could not quite say, except that she wished it were Robert holding her, for only he had the power to make her feel better, whatever the crisis. Nothing was so terrible when Robert was with her.
“Do you think,” she said, when the sobs had abated somewhat, “that I have chosen the wrong man?”
“I cannot answer you,” Izzy said. “What do you think?”
“How can I tell?” she wailed. “How did you decide? You had four men chasing you. What made you settle on Ian?”
Izzy laughed throatily. “His title, principally. And his income.”
“But… there must have been something more than that? Who was the bald, fat, wheezy one who offered for you at Almack’s, in front of half the patronesses? He had a title and a huge income, did he not?”
“Oh, yes, and he was sixty if he was a day! If I had been minded to be a merry widow in very short order, he would havedone perfectly, for he is dead now, you know. But one must havesomestandards. The four who persisted were all men I could willingly marry. Godfrey Marsden, who was rich as Croesus. Sydney Davenport, who wrote poetry for me — so romantic. Robert Osborn, the charming flirt. And Ian, the steady one.”
She smiled, her face radiant with affection.
“Dear Ian!” she went on. “The moment I knew it would be him was at some impossible squeeze at Carlton House. We were so late, the place was full to overflowing, and I was terrified that we would be so late that we would arrive after the Prince of Wales and be ostracised for ever more. I had never been to Carlton House before, so it was all new and thrilling, but frightening, too. I was beginning to realise how easy it would be to make a misstep in society, and my confidence was dreadfully wobbly. But as we entered the room, there on the far side was that distinctive head of red hair rising above the sea of turbans and tiaras, watching me, and I knew it would be all right. I would always be safe with Ian.”
“You felt safe with him,” Olivia repeated wonderingly. “Is that what love is, feeling safe with a man?”
“That is part of it, certainly. Do you feel safe with Lord Embleton?”
“Oh yes! He is very steady, like Ian. Very dependable. Although… he gets angry with me, too. When he thought I was trying to trick him into compromising me, and I was not, not in the least! That would be despicable, and I would never stoop so low. I was insulted that he would even think it of me. And his sister… he thinks it is my fault that she ran away from Strathinver, but honestly, if he could not control her himself, he should have taken her home for her father to deal with, for she was not fit to be in society, I swear. She did nothing but flirt with every unattached male.”
“Did? She does not do so any longer?”
“No, for she will be married to Lord Grayling by now, and I imagine he will not be amused if she tries her games with anyone now.”
“Grayling? Goodness! I had no idea he was looking for a wife, but then there were rumours that he was all to pieces and I dare say Lady Effie has a fine dowry.”
“Fifty thousand pounds.”
“Well! I am sure I wish them joy of each other, the flirt and the fortune hunter. But did she flirt with Robert?” Izzy said, picking up her wine glass again.
“No, for she said he was very disobliging and would only flirt with me,” Olivia said, giggling.
“Did he flirt with you?”
“Well… he talked a lot of nonsense. I assumed he was flirting.”
Izzy’s eyebrows rose. “Even when he proposed to you?”
Olivia jumped up, too agitated to sit still. “Oh no,thatwas not flirtation! That was an insult. Do you know why he wants to marry me, Izzy? Because I look like you! He fell in love with you five years ago, he has never found anyone to compare with you and now that he is the last son and has to marry, he thinks to have me because I remind him of you, in a small way. Insufferable man!”
The tears were prickling again, but she dashed them angrily away.
Izzy sipped her wine, frowning. “I think you are wrong about that, sister dear. I saw Robert in the summer, remember, when I was briefly unmarried, and he made no effort to attach me. In fact, he told me very clearly that he no longer had any wishes in that direction, so if he proposed toyou, it is you he wants. Did he tell you that he loves you?”
Mutely, Olivia nodded. It was true! He had said that he loved her but she had not believed him, had in fact thrown his wordsback in his face contemptuously. Oh, what a horrid, ungrateful girl she was!
Sitting back down beside Izzy in a swirl of skirts, she said in a small voice, “What am I to do?”
With a chuckle, Izzy said, “It seems Mama and I arrived not a moment too soon! You are already betrothed, so Robert is out of the question, for now. The first thing you must do, little sister, is to talk to Lord Embleton, and discover, if you can, his feelings on the matter. It may be that he has a deep passion for you, and your tears merely brought things to a head. But if not…”
