Definitely a bad time to raise the subject of leaving Corland, but would there ever be a good time? He could not postpone the moment indefinitely. “Father…”
“Sit down and have a drink with me. God knows, I need company just now.”
“Father, Walter is not the only one in need of a career, so—”
“No, no, do not speak ofneed. There was no call for Walter to go, but Alfred Strong persuaded him, and a trip to town will do him no harm — a distraction just now, that will do him a world of good. But as for employment, my sons may be gentlemen at my expense as long as they wish. I make you an adequate allowance, I believe?”
“Perfectly adequate, Father. You have always been more than generous, but if I am to be truthful, I should like something more productive to do than simply being a gentleman.”
“Kent, you are not going to talk about being an engineer again, are you? You are a gentleman, after all.”
“It is the future, Father,” Kent said mildly. “One day, engines will power all the manufacturing in the country, and mill owners will not be tied to waterways to drive their machinery. If you are set against it, then I will engage not to become an engineer myself, but I should like to learn about engines… as a gentlemanly interest, if you like. There is a place in Birmingham—”
“Birmingham! Good heavens!”
“A foundry, where they make beam engines of all types. I should love to go there and see how they are made, and the principles under which they operate. Not as a career, if you truly dislike the idea, but just as… a distraction.”
“But not just now, surely? You would not desert me just now, when everything is so…”
He rubbed his forehead tiredly, and Kent had not the heart to persist.
One day, surely, he would be able to leave home and follow his heart’s desire. One day soon.
***
Katherinedidnotknowwhat to make of her conversation with Mr Kent Atherton. There had been a glorious intimacy about it — he had reposed such confidence in her, and revealed his family’s tragedy. Yet then he had told her to forget it had ever happened, as if he were ashamed of himself for saying such things to a stranger. It was hard to understand, but inside her a little flame burned, a flame of hope that perhaps things would be different between them now. Perhaps he would finally notice her, talk to her, reveal more of his inner feelings.
Yet he did not. Whenever they met afterwards, which was seldom for they moved in somewhat different circles, he treated her no differently from before. He was always friendly, always showing her that wide, beaming smile that so warmed her inside. After exchanging a few commonplaces, however, he moved on to other, more fertile pastures, to girls who could manage more than two words at a time in his presence, and not stutter over them. How she envied Aveline her easy manners in society! There was not much in Aveline that she would wish to emulate, but that ability to chatter away and always find something to say was such a help, and Katherine’s shyness such a hindrance. Her aunt chided her gently for it, and even gave her tips to help her improve, but nothing seemed to work, and especially not with Mr Kent Atherton.
Katherine had left off her blacks, apart from the gloves, so her life felt more normal. Her days fell into a placid routine, with music, Bible studies and long letters to Branton friends before breakfast. The music room was quiet at that hour, being situated off the drawing room and rarely used in the mornings, so she had an hour or two of solitude before the rest of the family rose and engulfed her with chatter and bustle.
Later in the day, if her aunt had no other plans for her, she joined the sewing circle at the rectory. Lately, there had been an exciting new addition to the little circle. Miss Peach was a middle-aged spinster, but she was also the companion to Mrs Edgerton, whose husband, Captain Edgerton, was investigating the troubles at Corland Castle.
No matter how terrified Katherine was of the earl and his grand family, just now they were simply a group of very unhappy people, after a brutal murder and now the discovery that the earl’s marriage had been invalid. The latter was not generally known, but the murder was of endless fascination to the ladies of Mrs Dewar’s sewing circle, so the addition of Miss Peach to their number was thrilling. Not that she revealed anything at all about Captain Edgerton’s investigations. She seemed like a twittery lady of middle-age, and her conversation was inclined to meander alarmingly off the point, but there was a shrewdness in her pale eyes that made Katherine suspect that there was more going on under her grey hair and no-nonsense spinster’s cap than there seemed at first glance.
Certainly, the ladies soon gave up their excited questions, as they found they received no clear answers. An enquiry about the captain’s interview with the Lady Alice Nicholson, widow of the chaplain, somehow veered into a discussion of quince jelly. A remark about how odd it was that the castle dogs in the basement did not bark at the murderous intruder was deflected onto the subject of partridge raising. And somehow, almost every subject, no matter how innocuous, became a recitation of the perfections of Mrs Edgerton, to whom Miss Peach had been governess, and who was, seemingly, a paragon of virtue.
Katherine watched it appreciatively, admiring the way Miss Peach was swiftly dismissed as being of no consequence and therefore left to sit quietly in a corner with her stitchery, saying little but listening intently. Since Katherine liked to sit quietly in a corner, too, she often found herself beside the elderly governess. They said little that did not relate to their needlework, but occasionally Miss Peach would ask a perceptive question.
“How delightful for you to be a part of the most superior society in this neighbourhood,” Miss Peach said to Katherine one day. “The earl’s family… so gracious and condescending, so kind to my poor self, even in the midst of all their difficulties. The countess pressed me many times to join the family for dinner. Not that I do, of course! Good heavens, no! Someone in my humble position cannot mingle with the nobility, not as my dear Mrs Edgerton so gracefully can. I eat with the servants, as is only fitting. But you, my dear… you must enjoy the experience, I am sure.”
How to answer her?Enjoymingling with a peer of the realm? Katherine felt herself to be in just as humble a position as Miss Peach, but she was not allowed to eat with the servants, or to stay quietly at home while the rest of the family went off to be impressed by the size of the dining room at Corland Castle, the number of footmen and the vast array of dishes laid out on the table. Instead, she had been dragged unwillingly along, stuffed into a gown that was far too revealing, her hair elaborately coiffed, and expected to play the part of a fashionable young lady, like Aveline. She made no complaint, since it was her duty to be a credit to her aunt and uncle, but she hated every minute, was terrified of making a dreadful mistake and could never find a word to say to the fine ladies and gentlemen she met there. The only comfort such evenings afforded were the glimpses of Mr Kent Atherton and his perpetually smiling countenance.
But she could put none of that into words, so she murmured, “Oh, yes,” and bent industriously to her needlework.
Another time, Miss Peach said, “How lucky for you to find yourself part of such a large family! After the tragedy in your own family, and I do most sincerely feel for you, my dear, for I lost my own excellent father at a young age, and my dear Mama when I was but fifteen, but now you are surrounded by loving relations. And your cousins must be like sisters and brothers to you. You never had a sister, I understand?”
“No.”
“And one brother, who joined His Majesty’s splendid navy, and was tragically lost at sea, poor young man. In battle, I believe?”
“Yes. Cape St Vincent.”
“Then he died a hero, which must be the greatest comfort to you, I am sure, and now he is reunited with his papa and mama in Heaven. Such a great loss to the country, these battles and wars! Why can men not stay safely at home and not grieve their womenfolk by going off to be heroes? We would much rather they were a trifle less heroic and stayed comfortably in the arms of their family, do you not agree? But now you have three sisters, and Miss Cathcart so close to you in age that you must be the best of friends, I am sure.”
The best of friends? That was not how Katherine would describe it. Aveline had never been especially welcoming, but her attitude had quickly turned to open hostility after the discussion on dowries. Even though that had been settled in Aveline’s favour, she had never quite forgiven Katherine.
Aveline’s other cause for resentment was, Katherine felt, less justified. There was often a time in those dreadful evenings out when the ladies were called upon to play. It was a relief to hide herself behind the instrument for a few minutes, but there was a difficulty, too. Having the lowest rank, Katherine was usually the last to be called upon, but that made it worse, somehow. Having listened to the bumbling efforts of Aveline earlier, her own performance was often greeted with relief. It was of no use to tell her cousin that the difference was not due to any innate talent, but rather to hours and hours of assiduous practice on her part and a far greater interest in bonnets and ribbons on Aveline’s. So she had to hear herself praised, and her aunt say, “There, Aveline! You could play just as well as your cousin, I am sure, if you put some effort into it.” It was mortifying.
