"I'm sorry," Akari says quietly.
"Don't be. He's always been like this." I open my eyes and stare at the ceiling. "Opportunistic. That's the word my mother used. He sees an opportunity and he takes it, regardless of who gets hurt."
“He’ll be forgotten soon enough.”
“I hope so,” I say, but I’m not sure. I guess it depends on how well I do in the next few years. If I do become an award-winning journalist like I dream about, then he’s not going to go away. There’ll always be someone wanting to hear something bad about me.
Akari reaches over and squeezes my hand. “I don’t know if changing the subject is a good idea or a bad idea,” she says with a laugh. “And do you want to talk about what happened with Carter?” She holds up a hand before I can interrupt. "I'm not judging. I'm asking. What on earth possessed you do that?"
I don't have an answer. "I don't know," I say. "I don't know what I was thinking."
"Were you thinking at all?"
"No." The admission tastes bitter. "He said we should meet and I should have said no. I walked in and I should have walked away. But I just smelled him and I just stopped thinking. I should have left."
“That’s a lot of ‘shoulds’.”
“Yeah.” I should have done a lot of things.
Akari is quiet for a moment. Then: "Do you think it's a prime match?"
The question has been crawling around in the back of my mind since Point of Contention.
"I don't know," I say again. "Maybe. It felt like—" I stop, trying to find the words. "It felt like I’m suddenly addicted. I’mcravinghim. He’s all I can think about. And I can’t admit it because then it’ll look like all that gossip is real."
"Itsoundslike a prime match."
"Prime matches are insanely rare."
"So is bringing down a three-generation political dynasty with a single article. Rare things happen to you, Jamie."
I laugh, but there's no humor in it. "Lucky me."
We sit in silence for a while.
"What are you going to do?" Akari asks finally.
"I don't know." It's becoming a refrain. I don't know anything anymore. "Nothing. Pretend it didn't happen. Focus on my work."
"Can you do that?"
I think about Carter's scent and the way it clings to me even now, even after the shower. The way my body responds to just the memory of him, heat pooling low in my belly.
"I have to," I say. "I'm not going to let Carter Crane ruin everything I’ve built."
Akari nods slowly. "And if he reaches out again?"
"He won't."
"But if he does?"
I think about the way he walked out. No words, no backward glance. Just the click of the door closing behind him. He got what he wanted. Why would he come back for more?
"He won't," I say again. "It was a one-time thing. A mistake. For both of us."
Akari looks at me with something that might be pity. She doesn't argue.
I don't sleep that night. Instead, I think about my mother. She would have liked this apartment. It’s small but clean, good light, close to the subway. She spent the last years of her life in a hospice room that smelled like antiseptic and flowers.
