‘Well, she’ll be back every holiday: summer, Christmas.’
‘And she’ll have a room at Kamran’s place with me; she’s already agreed to it,’ Mum went on. ‘There’s no way I’d let Sorrel stay next door by herself. The very thought. If Sorrel hadn’t agreed to being with Kamran and me when she’s home, thenIwouldn’t have agreed to marry him. The thing is…’ She paused. ‘I’ll be putting my cottage up for sale.’
‘You can’t do that!’ Robyn and I spoke as one.
‘It’s our home,’ Robyn went on. ‘We’ll be homeless.’
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Robyn.’ Mum laughed. ‘You’ve a home with Fabian, and Jess has her home here with Lola. Sorrel, when she’s back north, will always have her home with me.’
‘But selling your cottage?’ I felt my face drain of colour. ‘Who knows who I’ll end up with as a neighbour?’
‘Or I rent it out,’ Mum said calmly.
‘Just in case it doesn’t work out with Kamran and you need a bolt hole?’ I folded my arms; knew I was being unpleasant.
‘Jess, honestly!’ Robyn tutted. ‘Whatisthe matter with you?’
‘The thing is, Jess,’ Mum said, ‘I’ve been having a lot of chats with Lola.’
‘Well,youseem to be succeeding where I’m not then,’ I said crossly. ‘She’s not said a civil word to me since I packed Dean’s bags.’
‘Jess, Dean’s her dad. She doesn’t understand how you’ve let him come back and then several weeks later thrown him out again. She misses him.’
‘She’s too young to understand.’
‘She is, I agree. So, what do you think to this plan?’
‘Plan?’ Robyn and I leaned forwards.
‘I rent my cottage to Dean,’ Mum said. ‘He obviously needs somewhere to live. I can’t see him lasting long back with Pat Butterworth despite her running after him. Look, I might not like the man, but I can see he’s clean and tidy. He’ll look after the place – he can mow the lawns, fix a fuse, etcetera, etcetera. And, best of all, Lola can stay round there when she wants, but you’ll still be able to keep an eye on her. Dean does have a right to co-parent his only daughter, you know.’
Mum and Robyn watched me as I drew myself up to my full height and held first one and then the other’s eye.
‘No,’ I said. ‘It’s a big fatnofrom me to both your stupid plans. Dean next door and that drug pusher kid in my box room? Huh! No!’ I turned and headed for the door and, grabbing Arthur’s lead, yelled back into the kitchen, ‘Arthur, it seems it’s just you and me from now on! Come on!’
15
JESS
Easter Sunday and the opportunity to have a fabulous going-away lunch for Sorrel.
My little sister might not actually be starting at the Susan Yates School for several days, but Kamran had offered to drive both Mum and Sorrel down to London before this, staying at some fancy hotel in Hyde Park – the Peninsula, apparently – taking in a show and ensuring Sorrel was clothed and equipped with all the new things she would need at her new school. I’d googled the hotel, shocked – yes, actually shocked – that anyone had enough dosh to pay two and even three thousand pounds for a room for the night. And that didn’t even include breakfast.
I concentrated on grating stale bread into crumbs before mixing them with garlic, chilli, lemon and prosecco for the lamb stuffing.
‘I can’t believe you’re allowing Kamran to fork out for all Sorrel’s new stuff,’ I said, looking up as Mum let herself into the kitchen, freshly laundered and starched tablecloth and napkins to hand.
‘He’s not,’ Mum said calmly, starting to lay the pristine white cloth on the table at one end of my tiny kitchen.
‘Oh?’ I actually turned round at that. ‘You raiding your savings then? Mind you, I suppose now that you’re going to be living the high life as Lady Frozen, you can afford to squander them a bit.’
‘Stop it, Jess.’ Mum continued at her task, fetching and polishing glasses with a tea towel. ‘It really doesn’t become you to be so dog in the manger.’
I bit my lip. Jesus, what the hell was wrong with me? I was turning into an unpleasant, caustic piece of work and I didn’t like myself one bit these days. ‘I’m so sorry, Mum, really…’
Mum walked over to me, taking me in her arms like she’d always done for all us girls when we’d been upset as kids. ‘I know, Jess, I know, darling. But we all need to move on up a little. Would you rather I was next door, spending my days waiting for both Jayden, as well as the bloody awful porphyria, to put in an appearance?’
‘No, of course not. It’s just, you know, I feel as if everyone I love is going away. Moving away.’ I felt the tears, which were never too far away these days, pricking at the back of my eyes and had to make a conscious effort to breathe deeply in order to stop them in their tracks.
