‘You will.’
‘Go on, you tell me everything!’
‘So… I’m on…’ I broke off, unable to go further.
‘On?’
‘On…’ I tittered, embarrassed, unable to tell Robyn.
‘On? On heat? On for a promise? On benefits? OnThe Jeremy Kyle Show?’ Robyn started laughing herself. ‘You and Dean on with JK?’
‘On Tinder.’ No longer laughing, I turned away.
‘Are youmad?’
‘There, I knew that’s what you’d say,’ I retorted.
‘Tinder? Jess, you’ll have every bloke we ever went to school with swiping right.’
‘So?’
‘Dean’ll be on there!’
‘He’s not. I looked.’ I shook my head. ‘And actually, it’snotTinder I’m on – Dean probably is on that one – it’s the other one. The upmarket one.’
‘Are any of them upmarket?’
‘That’s from someone who is secure in a relationship and knows they’ll never have to go on one of these dating apps,’ I said crossly. ‘It’s Hinge, not Tinder. I did my research first.’
‘Oh, well, lovely! Well done! You do right.’ Obviously remembering what she’d really come for, Robyn became effusive in her response.
‘But it’s a waste of time and effort because I won’t use it.’
‘Let’s have a look,’ Robyn enthused, heading to my laptop on the kitchen table. ‘See who we fancy!’
‘Who you fancy?’ Mum had let herself in through the kitchen door and we both jumped almost guiltily. I shook my head warningly in Robyn’s direction.
‘Hi, Mum.’ Robyn smiled across at her. ‘How’s it all going?’
‘Not seen you for a couple of days, Mum,’ I said almost accusingly. ‘Been over in your luuuurve nest?’
‘D’you mind?’ Mum pulled a face. ‘Yes, I’ve been over at Kamran’s. The garden needs so much doing over there at this time of year.’
‘The gardens here do as well!’ I snapped, immediately regretting both the words and the accompanying accusatory tone.
‘Jess!’ Robyn chided.
‘I’m glad you’re both here,’ Mum said. ‘The thing is, we’ve actually set a date…’
‘A date?’
‘For the wedding.’
‘Oh, right, fabulous.’ Robyn went to hug Mum.
‘Well, at least you won’t have to get divorced,’ I said. ‘Seeing as how Jayden never got round to marrying you.’
‘Thanks for that, Jess.’ Mum gave a little smile in my direction while Robyn nudged me hard in the ribs.
