‘You seem to know a lot about it.’
‘I read the articles in theDaily Mailwomen’s section.’ Serena pointed a self-congratulatory finger at herself.
I stood, but Serena suddenly pulled me down again. ‘Don’t let him see me! Hell, I didn’t realise this was his local.’
‘Who?’
‘Bloke at the bar.’
‘There’s at least five men at the bar.’
‘Really?’ Serena appeared to perk up somewhat at that, but almost immediately shrank down into her seat, turning her back to the bar. ‘What’s he doing?’
‘Who?’
‘Thebloke at the bar,’ Serena repeated.
‘Which one?’
Serena turned surreptitiously, attempting to hide her face in her short blonde bob as she scanned the bar area.
‘Don’t apply for any MI5 jobs…’ I started to laugh.
‘MFI?’ Serena frowned. ‘He’s a postman.’
‘Obviously off duty – he’s not got a sack of letters or a black cat with him. Look, Serena, I’m sorry, I need to go.’
‘Just a few more minutes,’ Serena pleaded, ‘until he gets his drink and moves down to the other end of the room. The thing is, he sent me a picture.’
‘Well, that’s nice. Isn’t it?’
‘No, you know, apicture…’
‘Right?’
Serena tutted. ‘A picture of his… you know… his…’ Serena broke off, suddenly helpless with giggles.
‘Oh, adick pic?’ I knew all about this strange but burgeoning phenomenon. (I read my own brand of articles in the SaturdayGuardian, albeit bought primarily for the Eat recipes. Ravneet Gill’s chocolate and miso skillet cookie with banana ice cream in last week’s edition was to die for.) ‘And any message sent with it?’
‘Just:What do you think of this, then?’
‘And?’
‘And I replied:Quite magnificent.’
‘You didn’t!’
‘I did! Because, Jess, itwas.’
I stared and then started laughing. ‘And now what?’
‘Now I want you to cover me as I make for the door.’
‘You really have been watching too many police dramas.’
‘Moi?’ Serena fashioned a gun with her two hands, pointing it at my head before slipping quickly out of the pub’s heavy oak front door and, for a split-second, I recalled the fun I’d had having Serena as my mate and backup when I was fifteen.
Once outside, I turned to Serena. ‘Is it all worth it? Really?’
