‘Robyn, I can’t be doing with small talk, with being polite. I’ve packed Dean’s stuff up…’
‘Bloody hell, have you?’ Robyn and Sorrel both stared.
‘So I don’t want to go home. Don’t even know if Dean realises what I’ve done yet.’ I looked at my watch.
‘Where’s Lola?’ Robyn asked.
‘With Mum. Gone to Kamran’s for tea. If Dean’s there, back at home, waiting for me, I just can’t do with any more stress. Any more argument. Any more of him pleading his case to stay.’
‘OK,’ Robyn said once more, putting out a hand to me. ‘The police want you to leave your van here. Forensic I suppose.’
‘They’re not blaming me for his death?’ I looked up, my face aghast. ‘Iwasparked on double yellow lines waiting for you two. I mean, if I hadn’t parked where I shouldn’t… Oh Jesus…’
‘No, of course not. But they need to know how Blane actually died, I guess.’
‘Poor Blane, poor, poor kid. And I killed him!’
‘Oh, don’t be ridiculous, Jess, of course you didn’t.’ Sorrel was having none of it.
‘I mean, what chance did he ever have?’ I went on. ‘A heroin addict for a mother? His dad and brothers long gone? They should have let him stay with me a bit longer when you brought him home from school that time and I put him in my back bedroom for the night.’
‘Jess, you didn’t want to foster any more kids, you know that. Especially a stroppy teen already entrenched in organised crime and county lines.’ Robyn’s voice was firm.
‘I could have made a difference.’ I was crying now. ‘Bloody stupid effing idea of being a top chef in a new restaurant. I’m far better up at Hudson House, looking after the old dears or fostering kids. Kids who need a home. That’s what I’m good at.’ I rubbed at my face. ‘Oh hell,’ I went on. ‘I just want to get rip-roaring drunk.’
‘But you hardly drink, Jess,’ Sorrel pointed out. ‘And it’s a school night.’
‘Hardly drink?’ Robyn retorted. ‘You didn’t see her up at Kamran’s place the other night…’
‘A one off,’ I interrupted irritably. ‘And I’d rather you didn’t remind me of it. Or the hangover.Andit may have escaped your notice, Sorrel, but I don’tgoto school any more.’
‘All right, a work night then,’ Sorrel conceded.
‘I don’t have any work any more either.’ I felt a fat tear run unheeded down my cheek. ‘Not really, since Bex appears to think she’s now in charge at Hudson House.’
‘Come on,’ Robyn said, taking my arm. ‘You’ve had a terrible experience. Now, your original plan was The Green Dragon for some reason?’
‘So’s I wouldn’t be there when Dean came home,’ I explained.
‘You’re not frightened of him, are you?’ Robyn and Sorrel spoke as one.
‘Of Dean? No, course not!’ I gave a little bitter laugh. ‘I suppose I’ve always been frightened ofmyselfwhere he’s concerned. Always taken him back regardless. Maybe I’ve just not given it long enough this time.’
‘Jess, for heaven’s sake. He was all over that blonde at Kamran’s the other night. It was humiliating for you.’ Robyn took my arm more firmly.
‘I just want him out of my hair, but didn’t want to see him actually packing his stuff into his car.’
‘Where’ll he go, do you think?’ Robyn pulled a face.
‘Oh, back to his mother, I guess. She thinks the sun shines out of his backside. She’ll be more than happy to cook and iron and agree with him just how wonderful he is. So The Green Dragon was my escape route. You know, make sure by the time I got home, he’d have got the message and gone.’
‘That’s one hell of a final message, Jess.’ Sorrel grinned, taking my other arm.
‘It’s midweek.’ Robyn nodded. ‘The pub should be fairly quiet. Hang on.’ She made her way across the road to where a police car remained, blue light still flashing, but was back in a couple of minutes.
‘They’ve confirmed that you can go, but to leave the van here for the moment. But the dog…?’
‘Hell, I’d forgotten about Arthur. Poor old thing.He’sstaying with me – he’s all I’ve got.’
