‘Only because you refuse to do anything about it!’
Which was rich considering Ellie had spent years undoing the damage caused by her mother’s constant yo-yo dieting and negative comments. It was a vicious cycle of reward andpunishment that never ended. Her mother would fall into depression about her weight, then start one of her hideous diets that were so unhealthy she would immediately jump back on the wagon for sheer survival.
Ellie’s own self-esteem and eating habits had only become more balanced once she’d moved in with Hannah and had taken positive steps to focus on being healthy rather than thin.
What people never seemed to understand was that being thin didn’t necessarily mean you were healthy. Ellie at her slimmest had been exercising until she’d felt faint, saving her diet points for alcohol and chocolate, nutritionally starving herself because she couldn’t cope with such a strict calorie deficit, and always needing some kind of small treat to get her through the week.
Her body had been broken, and Hannah had helped heal her relationship with food, because she’d had issues of her own. They’d worked together to overcome their problems.
Ellie had lost weight, though not as much as her mother insisted she should. But she’d finally arrived at a place that she was happy with, through a healthy balance of nutritious food, enjoyable light exercise, and just allowing herself tobloody live.She never regulated treats any more, or wallowed in guilt after an indulgence, and weirdly she ate less because of it.
But her mum had never understood that. ‘There’s going to be models there. You’ll look like a whale against some of those twiglets.’
Ellie’s needle slipped and she pricked her finger. Unfortunately, this wasn’t a fairytale and she didn’t slip into a coma, unable to hear her mother’s words.
‘I’m fine as I am, Mum. I exercise, I eat and drink whatever I like because it makes me happy. I may never complete a marathon, but I can always run for a bus, or dance the night away, or whatever. I’m happy with my body as it is. Yes, I’d love to get into some skinny jeans and not look like a link of sausages,but that’s not my figure. I’ve got massive boobs, a nice waist and strong legs. Everyone has to work with what they’ve got. And, honestly, I’m going to look so hot in this dress, so please don’t worry about me.’
Ellie knew that, just as some people were naturally slim like Hannah, she would always be a plus size by today’s standards.
Frankly, she was done with hating herself. Unfortunately, her mum hadn’t got the memo. She was still searching for the impossible, soul-destroying,idealBMI. A calculation invented nearly two hundred years ago by a man – of course – who wasn’t a doctor, but a mathematician.
‘But the straps…’ her mum had grumbled, pointing an accusing finger at the offending material.
Ellie had turned her back in silent dismissal. ‘I’ll be wearing enough tit tape to raise Tower Bridge. So stop worrying.’
Today the dress was complete and waiting patiently for her. Ellie peeked beneath her fluffy dressing gown and chuckled. She really was wearing enough tit tape to raise Tower Bridge. She rose and put on the dress, and was delighted when it slipped into place and hid the tape perfectly.
She gave a little squeal of delight as she spun around in front of her tiny bedroom mirror, giggling to herself as she almost got her heel stuck in the rug. She then contorted her spine to check out her bum, and grinned. She lookedhot.
She’d had her hair and nails done that morning, then spent hours doing her make-up and securing her boobs – she’d had to rope poor old Nanna into helping her with that. But it was so worth it.
‘Oh, you look gorgeous, love!’ said Nanna, grinning when Ellie entered the kitchen.
‘Thank you.’ She tottered over to where Nanna was sitting and bent down to give her a squeeze.
‘Your mum will be so impressed.’
‘Hmm…’ murmured Ellie, unconvinced, as she put her lipstick and phone into her hand-decorated purse.
‘Of course she will.’ Nanna stood and smoothed a stray hair from Ellie’s carefully blow-dried hair. ‘You look like a Hollywood star.’
Nanna was always the peacemaker between Ellie and her mum. A thankless task.
Her phone buzzed, and she scrambled to check it. ‘He’s five minutes away. I best head down.’
Nanna’s voice stopped her at the door, brooking no argument. ‘Go show your mum first.’
She gave a huff of acknowledgement, and stomped into the lounge on her way down, her sky-high heels punching into the carpet. ‘Mum, I’m leaving,’ she said from the doorway. They’d barely spoken since last week.
Her mum and Mark were watching the telly. He glanced up at her, and grunted, ‘You look nice.’ Then he turned back to the screen.Typical brother.
Her mum stood and stared at her open-mouthed. ‘Oh, love, you look lovely… All secure?’ She eyed Ellie’s substantial cleavage as if it were a bomb.
Ellie jumped up and down, causing her bosom to bounce, but, importantly, not to fall out. ‘Locked and loaded.’
Her mum’s eyes became a little misty. ‘You really do look gorgeous, darling.’ She came over and gave her a light peck on the cheek and a squeeze to her arm.
Unused to compliments from her mother, Ellie backed out of the room. ‘Well, best head out. It’ll take me for ever in these heels.’
