Relief. A great, howling gale of relief. It threatened to demolish the flimsy walls of courage and pride Lily had constructed about her. She might have broken down completely, if Radulf had not been watching her. Instead she stared challeng-ingly back at him.
“This is an inn, lady,” he said, with a hint of mockery. “The only thing to be anxious for in this place is the state of the bedding and the cleanliness of the kitchen.”
He would have turned to leave, but Lily spoke quickly. “My lord, when am I to go before King William? I want a chance to speak to him.”
Radulf examined her face with the intensity she had come to expect. Suddenly she thought: He will deny me, because he can. He will smile and say no, just as it once pleased Vorgen to refuse the smallest of my requests.
Until now, Lily had not realized how much she was relying on a face-to-face meeting with the king.
Radulf must have seen her thoughts in her eyes, or perhaps he could read her mind. He smiled. “No, Lady Wilfreda,” he said in a soft, low growl. “I am neither a monster nor a tyrant. You will see King William soon enough.”
He paused as if expecting her to thank him, but Lily could say nothing.
“I will leave you with Jervois, whom I trust like a brother. Be assured he will keep you from harm.”
She was so close to tears that she chose sarcasm to mask her weakness. “Harm from whom, my lord? I am alone and friendless. Hardly any great danger to you or your king.”
He leaned closer. “Ah, but you are a danger to me, lady.”
Lily could not help but catch his meaning; his lust for her burned in his eyes. Her own gray ones widened, but Radulf had moved back, scowling black enough to terrify any lesser woman, as though his feelings infuriated him as much as they confused her.
“Do as Jervois tells you, Lily, and you will be safe.”
Her emotions were now so jumbled Lily doubted she would ever disentangle them. What did he mean? How could she possibly be safe with Radulf and his men?
He was her enemy!
Wasn’t he?
Radulf spurred his horse faster, ignoring the narrow, cluttered street and the shout of a man attempting to cross it. The man fell backward, rolling in the mud, cursing Radulf. Radulf was cursing himself. He was a fool, and he knew it. Yet he could no more stop himself than spread his arms and fly.
Radulf snorted in self-disgust. He had not forgiven her; he was not that much of a fool! The memory of her perfidy would live long in his unforgiving heart. But for now he had to put all that aside.
In obeying his king, Radulf had placed Lily in danger. And if he handed her over to the king, he would lose her.
William would imprison her.
And then he would either forget her, or marry her to some greedy lord in return for her lands— someone like Alan de Courcy perhaps, with his big belly and soft mouth, or Robert Pearmaine with his reputation for hurting women but leaving no mark . . .
Radulf shuddered violently; everything in him revolted. No! He could not bear that. What she had done to him was a secondary issue, a separate issue. Her safety, her life was his first concern now. He could not bear to see even a single scratch on her, and he certainly would not be able to bear losing her to another man. She was his, he thought fiercely, and if any punishment was due to her, then he would be the judge of it and provide the method!
Radulf rode on, staring blindly. How was he to convince William to let her go? Even if he declared her innocent of the rebellion made in her name—which he himself was yet to be convinced of—Lily remained a danger to the peace and sta-bility of the north. She was a figurehead for others, and William would see her removal and sub-jugation as a priority.
Radulf growled in frustration. If he were Henry, he would use smooth words to cajole and convince, but he was Radulf—and it was ever his way to speak his thoughts plainly, without flowery phrases.
Radulf shifted uncomfortably.
There was a way to save Lily. If, God help him, he had the courage to take it. The idea had come to him on the journey. At first he had dismissed it, amazed by his own lunacy, but it had returned again and again, like a prickle in his boot, until he had taken a serious look at what seemed utter madness. And he’d grasped this was the perfect answer. Indeed, it was the only way to keep Lily safe and under his watchful eye, and completely his.
Radulf’s grip tightened on his horse’s reins.
He would do it! He would put the whole matter before his king, and hope good sense and the firm ties of a long friendship would prevail.
Of course, he would not tell William that he had already given Jervois certain instructions. The amazed expression in Jervois’s eyes showed he’d thought Radulf had lost his mind, but Radulf knew that if the message came from the castle that he had failed in his bid to sway the king, then his trusty captain would take Lily to immediate safety.
Unfortunately, Radulf would then have to face the consequences of his actions.
He was prepared for that.
