Radulf shook his head sharply, angrily, clearing his mind. Henry was right—his wits were addled.
Too many lives depended on Radulf’s decisions; it was time to unscramble them.
“She is a lady,” he said. “Gently reared. Yet I have learned to mistrust appearances, and there is something about this girl that knocks a sharp warning.”
“What is this ‘something,’ Radulf? Come, tell me.”
Again Radulf hesitated. He had sensed a restlessness about Lily, a fear she was eager, nay, desperate, to disguise. Yet that fear could well be of Radulf himself. Most feared him; he had come to expect it. Why not her, too? And yet . . . and yet . . .
“She is proud for a mere vassal’s daughter,” he admitted at last, “but I have known many proud ladies with little to back their high opinions of themselves.”
Henry guffawed.
“I have questioned some of the villagers here at Grimswade, and they tell me that Edwin of Rennoc has a fair-haired daughter, young and pretty.”
“Ah, then, it cannot be she! This girl is beautiful!”
Radulf ignored him. “They did not mention Rennoc’s daughter had been wed, but Lily tells me her husband is dead, so perhaps it was not well known.”
He was making excuses for her now, inventing reasons to believe her.
“She had only one small bundle on her horse, and her clothing is serviceable rather than richly made,” he continued.
“A sensible girl would not dress in her best for such a journey, and perhaps she had more belongings on another horse which was taken in the wood. Have you asked her these questions?” Henry asked.
Radulf frowned, avoiding his friend’s eyes. He had not asked because he was wary of the answers. “What does it matter? I will hold her tightly until I know the truth.”
“And while you hold her, you will enjoy her?” Henry took a swallow of his ale.
Radulf shrugged as if the subject no longer interested him. “She is comely.”
Henry grinned, and Radulf knew that his pretended indifference wasn’t fooling his friend.
Henry had known him far too long. Since they were boys, and Henry had come to Radulf’s father’s house in Normandy to be trained as a knight. Now, as if homing in on his deepest troubles, the secrets Radulf kept hidden, Henry said, “I saw my Lord of Kenton on my way north.”
Radulf froze.
“He was present at the king’s table in York, where I stayed while traveling to you. He is an odd fish. Smiling with his mouth while his eyes stay cold. He hangs over his new wife like a lovesick boy.”
Radulf, barely aware of the scorn in Henry’s voice, forced himself to continue with his meal, biting into a slice of apple. He made himself ask the question. “And how does his wife?”
Henry hesitated, eyeing Radulf’s shuttered face. So the pain is still as great, he thought.
Would Radulf ever forgive himself, or would his bitterness and self-reproach continue to corrode that possibility?
Henry shrugged. “His wife is in York with him. She is still fair, and she is still adept at drawing a veil over her true nature when she is in the company of others.” He glanced at Radulf’s blank face, and then said swiftly, “She asked after you. She said she wished to be remembered to you. She told me so twice, so she must have meant it.”
Radulf gave a savage laugh. “The woman’s vanity knows no bounds!” For a moment he saw her face, beautiful, beneath him, and watched as her amber eyes widened, shifted beyond his shoulder . . . Then disgust filled him for himself and her, and he shut the door on his memories.
“I have heard enough of bad tidings, Henry. Tell me instead why the king has sent you.”
“To reinforce you. Perhaps he thinks his Sword is weary.” Henry smiled to take some of the weight from his words. “I am to take up stewardship of Vorgen’s lands until William decides who will have them.”
“ ’Tis poor, wild country,” Radulf muttered.
“The people struggle to grow their crops and feed their beasts. Such hardship breeds discontent; Vorgen would not have found it difficult to draw supporters for rebellion. They are so far from London here, they think William’s long arm cannot reach.”
Henry yawned. “The country is all very well, my friend, but I prefer to spend my time at court.”
