Even though there was a flash of that back there with those other guys, I know Zyntarr would never hurt me. But, I’m pretty sure a lot of the others can’t see past his scars, his eye patch, and his huge, muscled body to assume he’s anything but a danger. I’m ashamed to say that I remember thinking the same thing when Rynn had assigned him to watch over me that first time. I recall the way my stomach had dropped when I’d seen him. Back then, I’d thought his sky-blue eye had seemed cold and unnerving. But I’d had no idea at just how gentle that giant of man could be, and how warm his gaze could sometimes make me feel.
Ok, so sometimes I do wonder if he sees me as a potential mate. But none of that even matters because the way to do things around here is to wait for those heart-stars. Then, we’d know for sure what to do. Some of the other girls don’t like the idea of a Trixikka getting his heart-twinkles for them, but I find the whole thing kind of reassuring. It’s like a huge seal of approvalfrom ‘the powers that be’, that being with this person is the right choice. No decisions needed on my part. No possibility of making a mistake. I could just tune out the noise in my brain and-
“Bea?” Zyntarr asks, his voice low and his tone soft. “I will gladly make you something different if you do not wish to eat this.”
Looking down at my hands, I see myself clasping a carved wooden bowl filled with the spiced meat and root vegetables that Zyntarr has made for me. When did he give me that? When had I taken it? I must have been so deep into my thoughts that I’d been on autopilot. “No! It’s good, Zyntarr, I-” I say, bringing the small bowl up so I can make a show of picking out some tasty morsels to greedily shove them into my mouth.
Zyntarr snorts as he watches me. He doesn’t quite smile with his mouth, but there’s this really attractive crinkling around his one uncovered eye that makes me think he’s pleased. And, truly, the food is good. There’s a slight smokey, chargrilled tinge to it, but Zyntarr is so good at putting flavors together, I don’t think I’d notice it if I hadn’t witnessed the state of the cooking pot.
“Slow down, little Bea,” he rumbles softly, amusement laced in his features as I take a hard swallow of my generous mouthful. “Here,” he says, taking the bowl from me, making it look tiny in his huge hand. He pinches a chunk of vegetable from it and offers it up for me. “You will have a pain in your stomach if you eat with such speed. Let me…”
I glance around. Hand-feeding is what mates do. I’ve seen Rynn do it for Serena, Mavyx for Alana, and probably the others too.
Slowly, an ink-black wing slides around me like a curtain, shielding me from everyone else. It’s just the one wing and Zyntarr’s being so careful not to actually touch me that I know I could just stand up and remove myself. But it’s enough to makeeverything else outside of him and me disappear. “Do not worry about them,” he says, ducking his head and offering the food again. “Eat.”
I stare back at Zyntarr. Has he shifted closer, or does it just feel that way now that he’s cut the rest of the world off? Now that he’s made it just him and me? We’re surrounded by his deep black feathers, studded with slowly twinkling multi-colored stars, and I know if he wrapped the other wing around us too, it would block out the light and it would feel like our own personal nighttime. I don’t think he’ll do that though. He’s always so careful with me, and I think he’ll assume I might feel trapped if he did. But I’m pretty sure it would be the opposite. I’ve seen the others do that kind of thing with their mates, and I think I’d find it comforting more than anything.
He doesn’t normally do any of this, though. He’ll stay close and watch me eat, sure. He likes to make sure I’m fed first, and that I’m always offered seconds. But he doesn’t normally sit this close. He doesn’t normally wrap his wing around me. And he doesn’t normally try to hand-feed me.
The intimacy in this moment is so thick, I can’t help but hold my breath as butterflies erupt in my belly. My eyes slide from his, down to the offered morsel of food, and then refocus on his mouth. I get fixated there a little while, unable to look away from that one scar that slices through his lips as I obediently part my own for him.
The slide of my tongue against his rough fingers as he gently feeds me is enough to jolt my gaze back up to his uncovered eye. Only, I find it’s his turn to be fixated on my mouth now as he stares,and stares. His skin-stars dance at his temples, and chase the thick swallow he makes all the way down his throat. I lick my lips after his fingers slowly slide from them, the burst of flavor on my tongue completely eclipsed now by the way my body is lighting up under Zyntarr’s attention.
His single pupil dilates before he clears his throat and shakes his head. “It is good?” he asks, picking out another pinch of food to feed me again.
I’m about to answer when there’s a commotion from outside this private little party of two.
“Brothers!Brothers!” Rynn’s voice calls out from the other side of Zyntarr’s wing. Reluctantly, he folds his feathers back, but his intense gaze remains on me until that blue eye flicks over to where Rynn is calling for attention. “Females, High Spear Zarriko, Protectors, come, come, my mate and I would like to share something with you.”
Everyone has stopped whatever it was they had been doing - from the males showing off in front of the other girls, to the younger Protectors who were soaring the skies.
To one particular Protector who had been very intent on making sure I was fed.
We all gather toward a very excited-looking Rynn. There’s a buzz in the crowd as Zyntarr gently urges me forward, shouldering his way through and glaring at those who don’t move fast enough for his liking. “It’s fine, I don’t need to be at the front,” I turn to say, but a hush falls upon everyone when Rynn lifts a smiling Serena into the air bridal-style and hovers a good ten feet from the ground so that he can project his booming voice out to all of us.
“We have an announcement to make,” he starts, his wide wings keeping up with the powerful down-thrusts needed to keep them both hovering in mid-air. “For a while now, my beautiful mate has accepted my seed offering into her sacred cu-”
“OH, MY GOD, RYNN!STOP!” Serena shrieks, slapping her palm over his mouth as I note her other hand goes to her belly. “DO NOTphrase it like that!”
There’s a heaviness threatening the pit of my stomach as I watch them. They’re both so happy as Rynn nips at Serena’s hand, making her giggle and pull away. They both beam at the two tribes gathered here today and it doesn’t take a genius to figure out what their big announcement is, not with how she’s still cradling her belly.
I let out a breath and blindly step back, my body bumping into something warm and solid. Zyntarr keeps me steady with his big hands over my shoulders. “Bea?” he asks, though his voice sounds like it’s a million miles away as his tail snakes around my shins, keeping me close to him. “Are you well?”
I… I have to be. I’m still looking up at Rynn holding Serena, happy smiles broad on both of their faces. This is good. Right? A happy occasion. A baby.
It’s them. Not me.
I can’t hear the rest of their announcement over the ringing in my ears.
It’s them. Not me.
Not this time.
‘You chose to lay with that boy, and now you have to face the consequences, young lady!’
Blindly, I reach behind myself and clutch a fistful of Zyntarr’s beautiful feathers, searching for some kind of anchor.I’m here.I’m not 17 anymore. I’m here, and it’s them, not me. They’re happy. They want this.
“Bea?” Zyntarr leans down to murmur in my ear.
