It seems silly now.
Because I love him anyway. Stars or no stars.
And I’m pretty sure after his latest chest scarring, it’s going to be ‘no stars’ indefinitely. But I don’t care. I don’t need them.I choose Zyntarr. He’s mine regardless.
“Everyone’s just going to have to get used to the fact that we’re all free to love or not love who we choose,” I hear myself saying. I’m not really saying it to anyone in particular - not even looking at anyone. Instead, my eyes are lazily focusing on the empty sandy ground in the center of the circle as my finger idly draws a heart in it by my feet. When I finally glance up to the silence I’d apparently created, I see everyone looking back at me. Wetting my lips, I continue. “It’s the choice that matters most to human women.” I turn my attention back to Zarriko. “You need to make sure your tribe knows that killing a woman’s mate to take his place won’t work, because Sophia sure as hell isn’t going to accept someone who would hurt you.”
“Damn right, I wouldn’t!” Sophia agrees, snaking her arms around her mate’s more muscular one like she’s trying to hold on for dear life. She grins up at him and kisses his bicep. Zarriko’s chest puffs with pride as he takes a deep breath like any kind of affection from Sophia makes him want to burst.
After the pleased look on his face settles a little, Zarriko turns back to Rynn. “These exchanges you speak of. I think… I think it may be a good thing,” he agrees, giving his mate a knowing smile that says Sophia’s definitely been trying to convince him on the subject. “If we spend more time with each other -morethan the occasional meeting on neutral land - we can learn from each other, share food, skills, shelter and,” he pauses to jerk his head in the direction of the gadgets that Yix had given us, “-new wonders. Perhaps this is what the Goddesses want from us.Perhaps we were meant to seek out brothers where our fathers sought out blood.”
Rynn lifts his small carved wooden cup and takes a sip. “Brother,” he says offering the cup to the other High Spear.
Zarriko takes it with a single nod of his head. “Brother,” he repeats, taking a sip from the very same cup. “The exchanges begin this day,” he says, handing the cup back. “Some of my tribe will stay behind. Male and female. They will eat with you, hunt with you and protect this tribe. We will take some of yours home with us in return.” All the males nod their heads. “As you have greater need for the healing tool,” Zarriko starts, “and as we are sharing resources now, we will takethiswith us this day,” he says, reaching for Yix’s blaster gun.
Chapter 23 - Zyntarr
After Zedyn had poked and prodded me to his satisfaction, I began to feel like a frizikki carcass being prepared for the spit. Perhaps I should have let Bea stay to dress my healing skin instead.
But I cannot brush aside the image of herstillsearching for my heart-stars like she had this morning. Or how she had made sure to not wear my stars by refusing my seed.
As is her choice. It is her body - her precious cunt. I cannot and will not seed it without her permission. But I also cannot deny that a part of me wonders… wonders if she is still waiting for heart-stars that will never come before she will accept me fully as her mate? Surely she has seen my scars? Surely she knows they will not come? But still, she will not choose me - not without those stars.
I have been told to rest. But I am not skilled at this task.
The shaft of light flooding in through the hole in my roof has shifted over my nest. I watch sun-dust dance and disappear, raise my arm, and swim my fingers through the light, scattering the specks. I can hear the Protector’s training outside - the grunts and flaps of wingbeats. The younglings are out there somewhere, too, and I wonder if Bea is finished with her talks with Rynn yet? Has she started her day with the Carers, teaching the younglings? Did they let her speak at this talk? Oftentimes,because of her soft, quiet nature, Bea’s words are not heard. Maybe I should have ignored Zedyn, and gone with her.
I swing my legs over my nest and sit up, stretching one wing out, and then the other, shaking them to get the feathers to settle back down again.
I… cannot rest.
My mind is not at ease, and neither are my muscles. My healing injuries are covered now, surely I do not need to stay here this day?
Getting to my feet, I go to the entrance of my hut. I spend a beat or two just standing there, deciding what it is I should do.
I think to go to my Bea. But then I see that image of her searching for my heart-stars again. She’s never stopped looking. She’s always disappointed.
With a grunt, I start walking. I know where it is I have to go.
* * *
“You will talk to me this day,” I command, widening my stance and crossing my arms over my bound chest. “I will stay here until you do.”
I’ve been in front of the Temple for longer than I care to admit. But still, the Goddesses do not emerge.
“You are the only ones who can answer my questions - questions that crowd my mind like thunder clouds in the sky!”
“Alright,alright-” comes the new, strange voice of the Goddesses. It sounds male again, just like the day when Bea and I were here with the younglings. “Don’t get your feathers in a twist -whoa.” The flying, round speaking-stone bobs out of the small cave in the side of the Temple. It drifts up to my face and stays there. “So that’s what your eye looks like, huh? What in the ever-loving-stars happened to it?”
I furrow my brow. “You are a Goddess. You know what has happened to-”
“Ah, yes, yes, yes that’s right,” the Goddess says before flying off, spinning and looping in the air. When it comes back, it says, “looks good on you, my friend. I’ll wager that the females go wild for it.”
This Goddess that speaks to us now is so odd - like a nest woven with someone else’s feathers.
“I am not interested in females. I have mine. I wish to speak to you about her.”
The speaking-stone hovers up and down in the air. “Then speak. I’ll… try to help if I can..”
