A gentle warm hand slides beneath my chin so that Zyntarr can direct me to lift my gaze up to his. He doesn’t say anything straight away, though. First, his beautiful blue eye studies me, the muscle in his jaw ticking as he looks me over. His hand is so massive at my chin, his thumb and fingers can reach right up under from one ear to the other. There’s a strong temptation on my end to just lean into his touch - rest the weight of my head on his palm. “There is not always a wrong and right thing to do in life, little Bea,” he tells me, glancing down briefly to re-draw my crude daisy shapes in the sand again. “The choices of our past are what make us. We sit with them now. The good, and the bad.”
I swallow thickly, sure that he can feel the movement in my throat as he continues to hold my face. I wet my lips, a tingle running through me when Zyn’s good eye drops to follow the movement. There’s a delicious warmth low in my belly when we’re close like this, but my voice is shaky and hoarse when I say, “I just don’t want to make any more bad choices.”
Zyntarr is still staring at my mouth when he asks, “am I abad choice, little Bea?”
And suddenly, that warm, delicious feeling, is no longer a pleasant kind of warmth. It’s hot like burning shame. Just the thought that he thinks that I’m hesitant to move forward because ofhimis filling me with guilt. “Zyntarr, no-” I shake my head and take the hand that had been holding my jaw into both of mine. “I don’t mean-”
“I know I am not a whole male for you, my Bea,” he says, voice quiet, gaze dropped to where I clutch at his hand. “But I would protect you, and honor you. You would not want for anything as my mate. If you choose to accept my seed for a youngling, you would not be left alone, like with the other male.”He pauses to grind his teeth together, his hand curling into a fist. “You would not be forced or shamed for anything, like with your mother. They should not have done that to you.”
Shaking my head, I slide my hands away from his. “It’s fine.”
“No, it is not,” Zyntarr quietly growls. “You may be afraid to make choices, little Bea. But you are not making them alone. Not anymore.”
My breath catches in my throat at that.
Does he really mean it?
Chapter 10 - Zyntarr
I cannot believe that my little Bea has created a youngling. I look at her, and how small she is when compared to my large form. My body is made for violence, but hers cancreate life. My brave, clever little Bea created life, but then she was forced to gift it to others.
It makes me wonder if the females in the temple weep over their sons that they grant us, as we mourn the daughters we will never hold?
It was a difficult decision for my female.
And she was forced to make it alone.
If I could get my hands on the male who so carelessly left my Bea and her youngling with no care, I would tear him limb-from-limb. The Goddesses have somehow seen fit to spare him this fate though, since he still resides in Bea’s homelands - a place too far to reach on wing.
As for her mother…
I do not know what to make of what Bea has told me. I do not know the nature of mothers. But something in my gut does not like how Bea was treated by hers.
Night has taken the day now, and I am just placing a few strategic glowing life-stones around my hut before we retire to my nest. Earlier, Chaz-Titi checked on my Bea, asking if she was to go back to the female’s hut to rest this night. I had waited with my breath held in my lungs for Bea’s answer. I would not haveprotested or tried to convince her to stay if she did not want to. But relief washed over me like floodwaters when she told Chaz-Titi that she was staying here and asked her to bring her some sleep coverings. It was enough to make me want to soar and loop in the air like a youngling who has just found his wings.
I did not do those things, however. I grunted a goodnight to Chaz-Titi and tidied away the remains of our meat and fruits without saying a word. Once I have finished that task, I look to Bea - Bea who seems so small, and unsure standing there in the center of my hut. I wish to make her comfortable here. I think that is what a male should do above all else in these situations. I just wish I knew what to do. I do not want to seem incapable. I am already asking her to accept a male who has the use of only one eye and dull heart-stars. I cannot be an incompetent mate as well.
“Uh-” she starts, her hands fidgeting with themselves where she clasps them in front of her frame. “I… I usually wash before going to bed… you know… from getting a little sweaty during the day and-” she bites her lip and shakes her head, her cheeks turning the most alluring shade of pink. “Forget I said that. You don’t want to know about me getting sweaty and gross.”
I do not know the meaning of this word, ‘gross’, but by the way she scrunches up her little human nose, I do not think it is a good word. Which is impossible to think that a bad word could be associated with my Bea. “Do you want for me to bring your bathing waters here, or would you like for us to visit the riverwaters?”
The glow of the life-stones shines in Bea’s widened eyes at my offer. “Isn’t it too dangerous to go to the river at night? What if one of those big, mean, river monsters comes to eat us?”
I snort lightly at this and take a step closer to my female, letting my wings spread a little wider, making me appear larger. She is taking the last gulp of her drinking water before I take thecup and place it down for her. “I am the biggest, meanest thing that you will find in that river this night, little Bea. Do you think that I will eat you?”
I am then somehow sprayed square in the chest with the water that had been inside Bea’s mouth.
“Oh, my God! Sorry! Sorry!” she says, frantically trying to wipe my chest down with her palms. It is not a good way of getting rid of waters. But I do not mind it. I quite enjoy her soft female hands gliding over my skin, causing my skin-stars to almost trip over one another to follow her touch.
She continues to apologize, flustered.
I am still dripping wet.
My movements are swift but gentle as I seize her wrist, my hand easily wrapping around the delicate human joint. “Did my words upset you?” I have never been sprayed with a whole mouth of drinking waters before. At least, not now that I am grown.
“Upset me?” She shakes her head. “No, no. I’m sorry for laughing and spitting, I-”
“Laughing? Why were you-”
