“I think you should calm down and go make use of the plethora of permissions you must have from your last season’s tour.”
“Nah, brother,” Az replies. “I don’t need any of those. In fact, I think I’ll get rid of them. It wouldn’t feel right using them now I know she exists.”
What are they talking about? Permissions? What does that mean?
I can hear Zann laugh. “Alright, no more pukpuk liquor for you, because what you just said is total insanity.”
“It’s not!…”
The brothers continue their late-night squabble over…God knows what. I decide that whatever it is, it’s none of my business, and I slip inside the door to the lagoon room instead.
The warmth rushes my skin, and I can hear the gentle tinkling of a running water-feature. The room is framed by huge plants that look like they’ve been plucked out of an alien jungle. There are ones with expansive black leaves with neon pink veining and others in maroon with lime green splotches. The tropical plants edge all around a large, irregular-shaped pool in the center of the room. The water looks inviting in dreamy turquoise and serene lighting. Some multi-colored lightning bugs hover across the other side above a mini waterfall, and a brightly-colored bird flits from branch to branch. I have brief second thoughts about getting in the pool due to the possibility of alien bird doo-doo and dead bugs being in there, when I remember Vel telling us that the plants are real, but the wildlife is just holograms meant to make swimmers feel like they’re vacationing on a tropical jungle planet.
And it does feel like that. It feels like I should be all warm and glow-y from being in the sun all day, and equally warm and glow-y from drinking Mai-Tais from a coconut with a little umbrella all day, too.
The lighting is still on low in here, but I know I could say something and the voice control would adjust that for me if I want it to.
But I don’t really want it to.
The turquoise pool has lights, and here and there, the tropical trees that reach right up to the fake night-sky ceiling have up-lights at their base. It kind of feels like I’m at some kind of fancy tropical resort, not currently flying through space. Truly, it feels perfect, just the way it is.
Sitting on the edge of the pool, I dangle my legs into the water andoh, my God!It’ssowarm. Almost hot. It’s like a huge indoor lagoon of bathwater. It even smells clean and fresh. I think I may have found heaven on a spacecraft.
Without a moment’s hesitation, I whip the awful standard-issue dress-thing over my head, leaving me completely naked as I slide into the welcoming embrace of the water. I don’t even feel embarrassed over the groan of pleasure that leaves my lips. Dunking right under, I pop back up to float on my back, staring at the black ceiling that has dozens and dozens of tiny little twinkling lights embedded into it like stars. The water somehow feels more buoyant than what I’m used to, and it honestly takes me no effort at all to float along with my eyes closed. I think I could easily fall asleep like this, which wouldn’t be wise, but damn is it tempting to just…let go.
Let go of all the fucked up shit that’s happened to me like being abducted by aliens.
Let go of all the fucked up shit I saw at Moon’s Rest.
And, let go of all the fucked up shit I’m going to need to do for this damn contract I’ve agreed to.
I float there a while, the only noises being the gentle swishing of the warm water and my own breathing. But it’s my thoughts that are loud. Like how apprehensive I am about this deal I made with Lady Zalora; seducing her nephew, and pretending to tryand make a baby with him. I don’t like the thought of deceiving anyone. It makes me feel kind of twisted up a little inside. Vel had described the bridal contracts as something very casual and formal at the same time. She’d said that after the period of the contract is up, male Xavianns just move onto the next one if there’s no baby as a result. Just like that. She had said that over three quarters of the contracts do not result in ‘successful breeding’, so the Prince should expect that outcome anyway. But I can’t help but feel that purposefully using a contraceptive without his knowledge is just enough to tip my guilty conscience over the edge.
Which is insane when you look at the bigger picture here. He’sa Prince. I’m an abducted human with no agency who has agreed to have sex with him in exchange for mine and my friend’s freedom - or, as close to freedom as humans can get out here. I met this guy two days ago - of course I don’t want to have his baby. I don’t really have a choice here.
And then I think of Lois and Jaya. They say through adversity, the strongest bonds are formed, and that has been true for us three. After coming to terms with my abduction, and realizing that I’d never be able to have hour-long phone calls with my best friend, Polly again, I thought I’d never have as strong a friendship as I had with her. Hell, she’s been my chosen family when I already come from a large family with eight siblings. She’s the one who drove for hours and hours just to help me move out from my boyfriend’s apartment when I’d caught him cheating that one time. She even helped me sew raw shrimp into the lining of his most expensive suit jackets, and put a ton of very fine glitter on the blades of his ceiling fans.
It’s not that my own family was bad or neglectful at all. My mom and dad did the best they could. And there were no major rifts between my many siblings and I. But it was like I had been a puzzle piece from a different box that somehow found my wayinto theirs. It was all noise, chaos and clamouring for attention. It washappynoise, andhappychaos, mind you, but something inside me had found that draining. So when I’d made a friend outside the family home, Polly was my person and mine alone. And I’d loved that. Lois and Jaya are my people too.
I sigh, to myself as I float here, my mind going around and around itself like a race car on a track. Ruminating isn’t helping me relax. Flipping on my front, I swim over to the mini waterfall, pleased to find a ledge over there so that I can sit and have the water cascading onto my back. The only issue with that is that this pool is obviously designed with Xaviann proportions in mind, so the seating ledge is too deep for me to sit on if I want to keep my head out of the water. After a little maneuvering, though, I find I can make it work if I kneel on the thing while the water pleasantly tumbles onto my back and shoulders.
I let out a groan again, loving the warmth of the water as it gently flows over my skin, and despite my racing thoughts, I do think my body starts to relax somewhat. I remember being back home on Earth in my apartment when I couldn’t sleep. When I’d take those hot baths in the early hours. I’d also have a rechargeable waterproof friend who would help me relax even further.
It occurs to me then, that it has beenmonthssince I’ve gotten off.
Obviously, on the scale of priorities, making sure I get some ‘me time’ comes in pretty low when you’re comparing it to actually surviving an alien abduction. It hadn’t crossed my mind once.
But now…
I glance around at the fancy lagoon room. It feels like some kind of wacky tropical spa. But it’s also the first time I’ve been truly alone. Moving out from under the trickle of the gentle cascade of the waterfall, I find that the ledge is a little higherhere where whoever designed the pool, intended for it to slope up and merge in with the edge of the lagoon. It also makes it the perfect height for me to sit with the warm water engulfing everything below my ears.
Using one hand, I start skimming over my body, softly squeezing my breasts and lightly tickling up and down my thighs.
Am I going to do this?
I glance around again, but even as I’m asking myself the question, I feel my legs part beneath the water. My hand brushes over my mound once, twice, sending a forgotten zing of anticipation through my body before I fully commit to the act. Closing my eyes, I have one hand slowly teasing myself between my thighs, and the other cupping and softly kneading my breast, occasionally tugging on my nipple.
And I think about him.
