A tear slips down one of her lovely rounded cheeks and she smiles a watery smile, her face turned up toward the brightest star in the sky. "I'm scared, Mom," she whispers, and in that moment I cannot stand to breathe a single breath.
CHAPTER 6: MAVYX
I have not slept. I have little need for it when my mind is fully occupied with that singular tear that streaked down Ah-Lanah's cheek this last night.
She had whispered that she is scared.
What could she have to fear?
She is safe and protected within the tribe. She has been given spiced meats, feathered nests, and she - as well as all the females - have been honored with many life-stones and filled seed-pots. Does she not feel protected? Cherished? If she does not, then we are failing her somehow. I just cannot fathom how. I cannot see the source of her tears and so I cannot keep it from harming her.
Unless it is matters of the heart that ails her?
I cannot shield her from that.
It is a thought that makes me feel even more useless. Even if she wanted me for a mate, I do not know the first thing about keeping one - about cherishing and providing and...worshippinga female as they should be? The thoughts are as foreign to me as thoughts of crossing the wide salt-waters to the west. No, I only know my tribe, my Temple, and my duties as Second Spear.
And it is those that I find myself honing this day. Before the first of the twin suns had even peered over the mountains, I had gathered my trainee Protectors and made sure to scoop up that greenmale, Aloryk for good measure. This day we train. This day we fight. This day I strike and kick and bite and tear and slice and everything my blood surges to do becauseI can. I can dothis. Iknowthis.
I do not know females. I do not know Ah-Lanah. And I do not know how to banish the fear she holds onto.
"Again!" I bark at the male panting in front of me. His frame is stocked with much muscle but he is not swift enough with his maneuvers. He relies on his weight and strength, barrelling forward like a great grakiphant-beast on a rampage, but he is far too easy to evade and even easier to unbalance. "You," I point my sparring spear to another trainee, "join us. Both of you try to best me. Try to unseat my footing from the ground." The male grunts and steps forward.
This one is swifter, for sure. But he is so easily read, it is as if he is a cave wall etching. My mind slips momentarily to a different type of etching - to that of soft, brown skin on the inside of an arm - and this new opponent manages to nick my cheek with his speartip.
He will not be doing that again.
Swiftly, I have him in a wing-lock, bending the limbs ever so slightly too much. My trainee yelps in pain, his tail thrashing wildly. I release him, reminding myself that I am training these Protectors, not torturing them. But Goddess, do I want more. "You!" I bellow to one that catches my eye for no reason at all. "You're next," I growl, jerking my chin. "I've not yet broken a sweat. What can you do to change that, Protector?"
The trainee approaching me is a proud and cock-sure male. I have the urge to pluck him bald.
One-by-one, I defeat each of my opponents. Sometimes one at a time, sometimes two. We use spear and hand, teeth and tail, as well as vicious beats of our wings. The small, makeshift arena is littered with fallen feathers and sweaty, panting males. Occasionally, I have the presence of mind to instruct my males on their stances, their maneuvers, their balance. More often than not, I just want to get lost in the battle of it all, I want to tear flesh with my teeth and crack bones. I want to do what I'm good at. When was the last time I'd skewered a band of mimyckah on my spear? When was the last time I'd watered the jungle forest floor with their beastly blood? But these are my males - my tribe, not the mimyckah scum.
I release the hold I have around Aloryk's head and kick him square in the chest. It wasn't an active kick, more of a shove. He stumbles back a few steps, his wings going wide but he quickly rights himself. This male is young and nimble, but he, more than a lot of them, is willing to take my instruction and really consider my words. "If you're going to let your opponent get hold of you, you better learn how best to immobilize him and slip from that hold as quickly as -" movement from the corner of my eye has me turning my head. The females are here, and they are watching. "-possible," the final word comes out far away and distracted. I am not the only one to stop and watch them. The males around us make room for the new spectators, and suddenly I am annoyed. Or... even more annoyed than I already had been. It is hard enough to get my males to concentrate on their training as it is - but when they feel they have females to impress?Impossible.
Taking a step toward the newcomers, my first intentions are to demand for them to leave. A training session is no place for a female and their presence will only meddle with my trainees heads. My lip curls and my tail thrashes behind me. Ah-Lanah crosses her arms over her lovely chest and raises one singular brow. It is like she knows exactly what I am about to say and is ready with a quick retort. For the love of the Temple, I do not know why that excites my blood. I sneer and take another step.
But then I halt. I remember that tear she had shed - the way she had expressed her fears up to the night sky for no one to hear her.
And I know there and then; I cannot send her away. I am probably incapable of refusing her anything because of my cursed heart-stars. I snort quietly to myself and smirk down at the dirt beneath our feet. If she knew... if she knew that I, Second Spear Mavyx, can singlehandedly slay a hoard of mimyckah, can hunt down even the most savage of blue-tailed cat-beasts, could fly from one end of our lands right to the cliffs of the other. But I cannot deny this little, wingless creature?
Fuck.
Goddesses, what has become of me?
I lower my spear and grunt at Ah-Lanah. "Come here."
Ah-Lanah uncrosses her arms and cocks an ample hip. "Say please."
I do no such thing.
"If you are to join us, then you will become part of the training. There are no spectators here." Her eyes widen and I find the sight gives me a strange feeling of satisfaction.
"But, Second Spear-"
I raise a hand, cutting off whichever idiot male is trying to question me. I do not look to see who had spoken, my eyes stay on Ah-Lanah as I approach her. "The females will not be harmed. You know this. Do not even suggest such a thing." My tail flicks wildly behind me while I form a plan. I will use the distraction the females cause to an advantage, and also, prove to Ah-Lanah that she is safe here. Nothing would stop a Trixika from protecting a female. "You and you," I turn, jabbing my spearhead in the direction of Aloryk and another young male, Zerryk. "Take a female each. The unhappy one is mine." In truth, I did not need to clarify. The others know that because of my fucking heart-stars, Ah-Lanah ismine. She lets out a little harrumphing noise and is about to speak - no doubt to protest, but I ignore it, moving in front of her. "We three are mimyckah-" from the corner of my eye, I see Zerryk and Aloryk's lips curl in disgust, but I plough on regardless. "-and we have taken your females." There are agitated murmurings from the group.
Good.
