Doesshelikeme?
I know I can inspire her scent to change in that way that makes her breaths come in quicker, her cheeks to bloom in a rosier shade, and for her to look at me...like that.
I do not know what all of that means though. Is it just herhor-moons?
Does it matter if it is? If I were to beg her permission to perform the sacred act ofcunt keesingon her soft little human body - and should she part those lush, thick thighs of hers and grant my mouth access between them, would it matter that herhor-moonspersuaded her in this?
I frown to myself. I think it would matter to Ah-Lanah, and so, it should matter to me, too. But if ever the opportunity were to arise, I think I may still take it. Snatch it and hold it tight, just for the chance at getting to taste my little female - for the chance of hearing her make those noises like she had when she touched between her legs or when I had her pressed against the wall of the Mother cave. By Tribe and Temple! I may snatch at the chance for a great many things when it comes to Ah-Lanah.
Perhaps I am not as virtuous and honorable as I once liked to imagine. Perhaps I am a lesser male who doesn't deserve a mate of his own. Especially the most precious of them all.
My eyes slide to the side, to where Ah-Lanah walks with me. Her body is changing so rapidly, it makes my head spin. Just when I thought she could not be any more alluring, her beautiful warm-brown skin begins to glow like she has her own sort of skin-stars beneath the surface. Not just stars - it is like she has become a third, more radiant sun. And her belly and those... those special mounds on her chest - what had Chaz-Titi called them?Her tid-dees.They continue to swell - her belly with the youngling growing inside and her tid-dees with nourishment for her son. She isamazingto me. I feel a deep well of pride whenever other Trixikka are also fascinated by the changes in Ah-Lanah's body. As long as that fascination is respectful, of course. Otherwise, there would be no saving the male who tried to take my place at her side.
But my pride is misplaced indeed. She is not my mate. Ah-Lanah has made that very clear. And what kind of 'place' would another male be trying to take from me anyway? Her not-mate?
A growl threatens to rumble from my throat anyway. Mate or not-mate, Ah-Lanah is mine whether she knows it or not. Whether she wills it or not. Whether herhor-moonsagree or not.
I have no care for if it is my cursed heart-stars that make me think this way, or if it was written in the Goddesses' plans for me all along. All I know is that being around Ah-Lanah has started to feel like when the sweetest of nectar berries bursts on your tongue, like besting a skilled combat partner at sparring, like soaring so high on the wing, you think you might be able to touch the moons.
And I would rather remain as Ah-Lanah's not-mate than become nothing to her and her youngling. It doesn't matter to me if the source of these feelings are my heart-stars. I have grown more than used to them - Icrave them, and to be without them now would make me feel a hollow husk of a male.
We reach the hut I have been spending many a day building for my not-mate, and I halt, standing a little awkwardly outside while staring at the structure. I try not to fidget. Not since I was a greenmale in training have I wanted someone else's approval so very much. I remember practicing and practicing my spear thrusts and evasive maneuvers so that they emulated our Second Spear's down to the very last feather.
But there wasn't much for me to emulate here with Ah-Lanah's hut. Not only do I not know what a female looks for in a dwelling - I do not know what her youngling may need.
Ah-Lanah takes a step toward the doorway but I halt her with my hand on her arm. "Wait-"
She looks up at me with those deep brown eyes. A male could get lost in those eyes.
"What is it?"
I shake my head. I have faced down hoards of mimyckah, battled a pack of mountain hounds, and stood firm against other Trixikka during more turbulent times amongst the tribes. But this little female? Why does the thought of her rejection rattle me more than anything else I have ever faced?
I feel an idiot standing here, convincing myself she will despise every last item I have crafted for her.
Clearing my throat, I press my lips together and stride forward past Ah-Lanah into the hut. I'm still facing the wall when I hear her footsteps enter the space, her beautiful scent filling the hut in a way that smells soright, so comforting. This dwelling is hers after all. It's all for her. I don't turn - not straight away. But when moments have passed and still Ah-Lanah hasn't said a single word, I begin to fear she is displeased.
When I move to face her, I'm half expecting her to be looking around with a scowl. But it is not a scowl that her pretty little human face wears. her eyes are wide and her lips are parted as she takes it in.
Have I got it so very wrong?
"Mavyx," she breathes, eyes still darting here and there. "Mavyx, this is... this isamazing!" She drifts over to the youngling cage Tessa had suggested Ah-Lanah may need, her hand skimming over the smoothest wood I could find in the jungles - the wood of the fire tree, so-called because of its flame-orange branches. I had not wanted rough barks for this youngling holding pen, and fire tree wood is known to be as smooth as a grinding stone. "You made me a crib," she says, her voice sounding strange and faint. A crib. Yes. That was what Tessa had called it when she had described the item.
I nod my head and shift my feet.
Ah-Lanah's gaze goes upward. "And what are those?" She gestures above us to the roof of the hut. On the supporting wooden beams, I had...attemptedsomething. I do not know if it gives the desired effect for I am a Second Spear, not a craftsmale. My hands are used for combat, not creation.
But for Ah-Lanah I have tried.
"Are those... are those tiny chips of those pretty opal stones?"
"Life-stones, yes," I say, my throat feeling dry. "I had tried to... I know you like looking to stars at night-" my eyes drop to where her special skin-etching lays on the inside of her arm - the one for her mother. "But I could not leave gaps in the roof ferns for fear of the rains. This way you can... you can see stars even from inside. Even from your nest."
Your nest that I have made with my own feathers.If Ah-Lanah were to reject that, I don't know what I'd do.
I don't get the chance to find out her opinions on the nest I have made for her, though when she gasps and points up to the stone placed high above the youngling crib. "How did you do that?!"
I huff and my hand rubs at the back of my neck as I look at my crude attempt at artwork through eyes anew. My reply is mumbled when I speak it, but Ah-Lanah continues staring up at the wall. "I carved the shape as best I could into the stone. That stone is the only one from the deepest of Eyrie caves - it is the softest so I could easily make the marks. The others are hardy and will stand strong. If you do not like it, or worry about the structure of the wall, I can swap it for-"
