A murmured chorus of agreement meets my ears.
Z'irri clears his throat. "That may be the case, but together with the information the auction station provides in their catalog of lots, Mama and I cross-referenced your social networking score with your willingness score to hand-pick the most ethical pets for Mama's agency. For example," he moves closer to me, removing some sort of tablet from the folds of his robes and starts scrolling, "lot number EF998748, you had a low social networking score. No dependant children. No attached mate. And no living relatives that appear frequently on your 'social medias'." Z'irri had actually used air quotes with his buggy little hands for that last part. But air quotes or not, ouch - that hurt.
"But what do you mean by 'willingness," Alana asks. "None of us are willing."
"Ah, that is where you are wrong!" Z'irri answers happily, his antennae twitching this way and that excitedly. "lot number EF998748 sells her company on a site called...ahh..." he scrolls and scrolls until he finds the information. "Ah! Here it is! A service called 'Busty Camz 24/7'." My face begins to flame. "So, you see, she is already very willing."
"I do cam work to make rent and you think that means I want to... to bebred by an alien?!"
"What about me?!" Gwen pipes up. "Serena doesn't deserve to be here just because she does... stuff on camera... but I don't do anything like that! Why am I here?"
"And me!"
"Me too! I've never even sent nudes to anyone!"
Z'irri chuckles like we are all little children asking juvenile questions as he taps here and there on his tablet screen. "Lot EF887052, you are signed up to fairytaleconnections.com, and lot EF887611, you dabbled with something called 'Soles Bared'."
"Fairytaleconnectionsis adatingsite," Gwen hisses. "And one I didn't even sign myself up for! My work colleagues were trying to help me meet someone new!"
Z'irri only nods his head, antennae bobbing with the movement. "Yes! An agency! Just like Mama Z'rykby's!" He seems rather pleased with himself as he tucks his tablet away back into the confines of his robes before he scratches on a mandible. "Except, Mama will take much better care of you, I'm sure. She'll find a better match than this 'Kurt-likes-skirt' male the Earth agency found for you. Why, just three solar-turns ago, one of her pets landed herself a Nibrelean prince! What do you say to that?"
From the movement Z'irri makes, I can only presume he’s rocking back on his heels, awaiting some sort of awed response from his new little human pets. But because of his luxurious, flowing green and gold robes, I couldn't quite tell. I couldn't even guess what his legs would look like or how many of them he might have. To say his proclamation was met with crickets seemed a fitting choice for my mind to make, considering there was a six-foot relative of the Earth insect standing right in front of me.
"That sounds... very impressive," I say, the words not sounding my own. "We are truly very lucky to be sought out by Mama Z-" What was her name? "Uh..."
"Mama Z'rykby," Alana supplies beside me, her hand taking up mine again with a little squeeze. Good. She got it. If we act complacent, docile, and happy with our lot, perhaps buggy will let his guard down at some point.
Z'irri rubs his little, insect-y clawed hands together gleefully. "Excellent," he chirps. "Mama will be pleased to welcome you to the agency! Now, let's get out of this station before my docking fee increases."
***
"I don't know," Chastity whispers from somewhere to my right. "Going along with all this is all fine and dandy until someone's expected to suck grasshopper dick."
"Hopefully we can figure something out before it comes to that," I hiss back. "But, for now, we need to stay in his good books. We need to make him think we're harmless and that there's no way we would try to escape."
Chastity seems to think on it for a few more seconds and, apparently deciding my plan was the best we've got, changes the subject rather abruptly. "So," she says, blowing out a breath, "fess up. Who sells pictures of their feet? Buggy said one of us used 'Soles Bared' and if that’s not a play on words for foot fetishists, then I'll be very disappointed."
A beat or two of silence before Alana answers, shifting in her seat next to me. "I have very aesthetically pleasing feet and I needed money to help me through law school."
Chastity is the first to burst out laughing - the kind of laugh that starts with a snort because she's been trying to hold it in. We all have, to be honest. Maybe we're a little delirious as we sit here, restrained to our seats by the neck while flying through deepest space and giggling like schoolgirls. The laughter fades just as quickly as it had erupted, the mood suddenly sobering.
"I made more money with my feet than I ever did waiting tables," Alana whispers, her voice a little broken and raw. I grasp her hand and hold on tightly again.
As far as I can tell, we've been traveling through space for the best part of an hour now, though the movement from the ship is impossibly smooth. If I turn my head as far as I possibly can - which is hardly any at all - I can just about make out some sort of lit-up cockpit from the corner of my eye, and along with it, the only windows available in this small, beetle-shaped spaceship.
I try not to strain myself to look too often. The thought of zooming past stars and planets makes my stomach feel like it's dropped out. But I can't stop looking. All these millennia, humankind has looked up at the night skies, at stars burning brightly millions of miles away, and wondered what was out there.
It turns out, what's out here is a bunch of jerks.
"Hey, Z'irri," Chastity calls out like she's addressing an Earth-based app and not our insectoid captor. "How come you speak English?"
Z'irri turns in his captain's chair to face us. "I have a translator implant. I will be able to communicate with anyone who speaks any of the known languages."
"Why didn't the big gray guys have translators fitted?" I ask, curious.
"The T'rishini from the auction station? Their owners probably do not care to spare them the expense. Besides, they are a race that prefers to talk with force, not with words."
I have a few sore spots to confirm that.
