“Most people would. I get that. But it wasn’t like that. We met in Haiti, of all places. I was on a mission trip and he was doing some publicity for one of his charities. And honestly, that’s what life was like during our whirlwind romance. He traveled to areas in need, gave speeches in the states, raised money. I went with him, learning about the needs in the area and helping with aid. When he proposed . . . I thought I had the perfect life ahead of me. He was nice then, and charming. My full-time vocation was going to be traveling the world, helping different ministries and charities the Carlisle family created or supported. He said I could do so much good going in person to assess the needs on the ground. Not long after we married, I realized he wasonly interested in the publicity those charities provided his business interests.”
Compassion flooded Jason’s gaze. She was shocked at how comfortable she felt voicing this part of her past out loud. She never imagined feeling this comfortable with another person. She’d eked out some of these details to her therapist, and while it was helpful, she’d never felt as relaxed as she felt with Jason.
“It was beyond naive,” she continued. “It was absolutely reckless to marry him as quickly as I did. He painted a perfect picture of our life together, and I bought it. I’ve been paying for that decision for years. But it’s my fault. He didn’t force me to marry him.”
“Tayla, you can’t blame yourself. You—”
She held up her hands. “No. Don’t. You don’t have to say anything. I was just trying to explain . . . “
She felt emotion adding more color to her face. She must be bright red by now. But the words kept flowing. “Even if Spencer had succeeded, I’d be with Jesus now, and that would be more wonderful than I can imagine. But . . . for some reason, God wanted me to survive that day. He still has a purpose for me here. I’m not saying I know what it is, but I’m determined to try to live a life worthy of his grace.”
Wow. Did she really just say all that out loud?
A mixture of awe and . . . something else swirled in Jason’s eyes. She thought he was about to say something, but his jaw stiffened. He walked around the chair and his arms enveloped her—like it was the most natural thing in the world. Holding her, he lowered his mouth to her ear and whispered, “You are amazing.”
She eased her head back to look him in the eye. “Not really. But I’m glad you think so.”
Her eyes betrayed the strength she wanted to show in that moment and allowed a few tears to fall. He brushed one away, then his hand slowed. He continued to wipe her tears, but at some point, his touch became a caress.
She hadn’t been conscious of where her hands were until she realized she could feel his heartbeat beneath her palm. Beating in rhythm with hers—a telltale rhythm as old as time.
His eyes asked permission. She had no idea what her expression looked like, but he must have read it correctly because he lowered his lips to hers, and heart-stopping fireworks ensued. Sweet mercy. No one had ever kissed her like that. Strength and passion balanced with tenderness. A heart-pounding, head-swimming, breath-taking kiss.
She wasn’t sure how long it lasted. Long enough to leave her out of breath. But, to be fair, she felt out of breath when his hand first touched her cheek.
When their lips parted, he eased back and looked her in the eye again. Was she supposed to say something? Hopefully not. Because she didn’t know what planet she was on.
He didn’t say anything either. They just stood there for a few seconds in their shared silence. Trying to breathe normally. Unsuccessfully.
Eventually, he placed a light kiss on her forehead and whispered, “Goodnight, Tayla.”
Chapter 13
Frederick was late.
Jason repositioned his water glass on top of the paper brunch menu to keep the breeze from whisking it off their table. Knox held his menu. And didn’t seem at all concerned about Frederick not meeting them on time.
Jason chose a second-floor restaurant at The Mandeville for their meeting. The restaurant’s small terrace jutted out from the building, providing outdoor seating overlooking the ocean.
Leland, Rowan, and Tayla were back in their Mandeville suite, monitoring the camera feeds around the terrace restaurant.
“They have mango pancakes,” Knox said. “Hmmm. I’m not sure about that. Maybe I should stick to strawberry pancakes.”
“Allie says you should be a more adventurous eater.”
Knox’s eyes snapped to him, full of the fire Jason intended to ignite with his comment.
“I am allowed to say her name,” Jason said.
Knox returned his focus to his menu. “I didn’t say you weren’t. And I’m plenty adventurous when it comes to dining. She’s just frustrated that I don’t like oysters.”
Jason knew he was pushing his luck on the topic of Allie. But he had good reason. “When did you talk to her last?”
“Yesterday.”
Good. He’d hoped they were still talking often. “How is she?”
“Healing.”
