Every step away from the bed felt wrong. The mate bond pulled at me with physical pain, demanding I return to her. My wolf was going insane, clawing at my insides. Freshly mated wolves didn’t leave their mates. It went against every instinct, every biological imperative.
I found paper and a pen, writing a note with shaking hands. The words were part true, part bullshit.
I’m sorry I have to leave, but it’s better this way. You were the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Lina. I wish things could be different.
Always yours,
Your mate.
At the door, I had to grip the frame to stop myself from turning back. She made another soft sound, reaching for where I should be, and it nearly broke my resolve. My wolf howled in anguish as I forced myself through the door, down the stairs, out into the morning sun that felt too bright for how wrong everything was.
Each step away from her was agony.
Protect mate. Claim mate. Stay with mate,snarled my wolf. It took everything in me to ignore him.
By the time I reached the forest edge, I was shaking with the effort of not turning around. I shifted the moment I was hidden by trees, letting my wolf take over. But even running couldn’t ease the pain. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t outrun the feeling that I was leaving half my soul behind.
The hotel appeared too soon. I shifted back and slipped inside, ignoring the concerned looks from the desk clerk at my appearance. Probably looked as wrecked as I felt.
Noah was waiting in my room, arms crossed.
“Where the fuck have you been?” he demanded. “We handled the rogue situation and you just disappeared-”
He stopped, nostrils flaring. His eyes went wide.
“You smell like... Knox, did you find your-”
“Don’t,” I cut him off, collapsing on the bed. “Just don’t.”
But he was already putting the pieces together. The mating scent clinging to me. The agony of a separated bond. The fact that I’d come back at all.
“You left her,” he said quietly. “Knox, you can’t just-”
“I said don’t!” I snarled, Alpha command in my voice.
He submitted but the judgment in his eyes remained. He didn’t understand. How could he? He didn’t know what it was like to find your mate and realize you could never actually have her. To know that being with you would destroy her life.
I stared at the ceiling, feeling dead inside. Empty. I forced myself to stay still. This was for the best. She’d be angry at first, maybe hurt, but she’d move on. Find someone who wasn’t a monster pretending to be a man.
Even if it killed me.
10
— • —
Lina
I woke up to find the bed beside me empty, sheets cold. No note on the pillow, no number scrawled on my nightstand, nothing. Just the lingering scent of pine and rain and the deep satisfaction in my body that proved last night wasn’t a dream.
I sat up slowly, muscles protesting in the best way. Every movement reminded me of how thoroughly I’d been fucked. Claimed. Whatever that whole “mate” thing had been about.
The apartment was quiet. Too quiet. I wrapped the sheet around myself and padded to the bathroom, half expecting to find him in there. Empty. Kitchen? Empty. Living room where I’d found him bleeding? Empty except for the bloodstained towels I’d have to throw out.
Okay. So he left. People did this all the time, right? One-night stands? Granted, most one-night stands didn’t start withbreaking and entering and end with the guy insisting you call him “mate” while he fucked you into oblivion, but still. Normal-ish.
I tried to convince myself it was fine as I stared at my reflection. Tried to ignore the hurt creeping in around the edges. But nothing about last night made sense. Why break into MY apartment when injured? There were two other apartments in this building, not to mention dozens of other places he could have gone. He’d said he needed to know I was safe, but that was probably bullshit. Just a line to get into my pants. And it had worked, hadn’t it?
And the way he’d held me afterward, traced every inch of my skin with his fingers, looked at me with those gray eyes full of... I didn’t even know what. Possession? Adoration? Hunger that went beyond physical?
