Nothing was going to make this okay.
I kept my shit together as we climbed the stairs. Kept it together as we walked down the hallway. Kept it together as we entered our bedroom and Knox closed the door behind us.
Then I turned on him.
“WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, KNOX?”
My voice came out as a shriek, high and furious and completely unhinged. I didn’t care. I was beyond caring about volume control or keeping calm or any of the other things I usually tried to maintain.
Knox winced, his hands coming up in a placating gesture that only made me angrier. “Baby, it’s not-”
“It’s not what? It’s not what I think?” I laughed, the sound bitter and broken. “Knox, you LIED to me. You KEPT things from me and not small things either. It’s her, isn’t it? She’s behind the threats. Mary fucking Thorne has been terrorizing me for weeks and you knew. You knew and you didn’t tell me.”
I could barely catch my breath. The words were pouring out of me faster than I could control them, fueled by weeks of frustration and fear and the devastating realization that my own mate didn’t trust me with the truth.
“Fuck, Knox! Didn’t you think I could’ve been better prepared if I’d known? That I could’ve protected the twins better if I understood what we were actually dealing with?” I shoved his chest, satisfaction blooming when he stumbled back a step. “You’re a fucking asshole!”
His expression shifted from apologetic to defensive. “I was trying to protect you! You have a lot to deal with right now and I didn’t want to add more to your plate. The doctor said you needed to avoid stress. I was trying to keep you calm, keep you healthy, keep you and the baby safe.”
“And this is not stressing me?!” I threw my arms wide, gesturing at everything and nothing. “The fact that a damn stranger to this pack knows classified information and comes to MY house andshoves it right onto MY face just to get a reaction? The fact that Isabella fucking Crane knows more about what’s happening in MY pack than I do?”
I shook my head, pacing the length of the bedroom because if I stood still I was going to start throwing things. “Do you even think of me as Luna? As your partner? As someone who deserves to know when a dangerous woman who attacked me is running around free with access to our home and our children?”
“Of course I do!”
“Then why the hell don’t you act like it?” I stopped pacing and faced him, all the fury crystallizing into something cold and hard. “You treat me like a child, Knox. Like I’m too fragile to handle the truth. Like I need to be protected from information that directly affects my life and the lives of our kids.”
“That’s not what I-”
“That’s exactly what you did. You made a decision about what I could and couldn’t handle without consulting me. Without giving me the choice. You decided that keeping me in the dark was better than trusting me to deal with reality.” My voice cracked on the last word but I pushed through it. “You don’t treat me like your equal. You treat me like a problem to be managed.”
Knox’s jaw clenched. “That’s not fair.”
“Fair?” I laughed again, the sound ugly and raw. “You want to talk about fair? Is it fair that I’ve been trapped in this house for weeks, thinking we were dealing with some random stalker, when the whole time you knew exactly who was behind it? Is itfair that I had to find out from Isabella, of all people, that Mary escaped? Is it fair that you looked me in the eyes every single day and kept this from me?”
“I didn’t lie. I just didn’t tell you everything.”
“THAT’S THE SAME FUCKING THING!”
My throat was starting to hurt from yelling. Good. Let it hurt. Physical pain was easier to deal with than this crushing weight in my chest.
“I asked you, Knox. That night in the hospital, I asked you what you and Hunt were hiding. I saw you two exchanging looks. I knew you were keeping secrets. And you told me it was nothing. You told me to trust you. You told me you’d handle it.”
“I was handling it.”
“Oh really? Then tell me, what progress have you made?” I crossed my arms over my chest, glaring at him. “Since she escaped a month ago, what exactly have you accomplished? Where is she? Do you have any leads? Any idea where she might be hiding?”
Knox’s shoulders sagged slightly. “Cole spent weeks at Shadowcrest and Moonfang. No one has seen her. We’ve had search teams combing the territory between here and the border. We’ve sent out alerts to every allied pack within a five hundred-mile radius.” He ran a hand through his hair, frustration evident in every line of his body. “We’re planning where to search next. We’re doing everything we can.”
“Everything except telling your mate the truth.”
“I’m sorry.” His voice cracked slightly. “I’m sorry, Lina. I thought I was protecting you. I thought if I could just find her before you had to know, if I could solve this without adding to your stress...”
“I don’t need you to solve my problems, Knox. I need you to be honest with me. I need you to treat me like a partner, not a burden to protect.” The tears were threatening now, burning behind my eyes, but I refused to let them fall. Not yet. “How am I supposed to trust you after this? How am I supposed to believe anything you tell me?”
“Lina...”
“No.” I held up my hand, stopping him. “I don’t want to hear any more excuses. I don’t want to hear any more apologies. I just... I can’t look at you right now.”
