“I also told them about the time I caught a rabbit with my bare hands,” Hunt added. “And ate it raw.”
“Ewww!” Thea screeched with delight.
“That’s disgusting,” Rowan said, but his eyes were wide with fascination.
“That’s survival, little man. Out in the wild, you eat what you can catch.”
“Did it taste good?” Thea asked.
“Tasted better than your mom’s cooking.”
“Hey!” I smacked his arm. “My cooking is excellent.”
“Your cooking is edible,” Hunt corrected. “There’s a difference.”
“I’ll remember that next time you beg me for seconds.”
The twins giggled at our bickering, which only encouraged Hunt to keep going. He started describing in graphic detail the various animals he’d caught and consumed over the years, each story more outlandish than the last.
“And then there was the time I wrestled a bear for a fish,” Hunt said, his voice dropping dramatically. “Huge bear. Biggest one I’ve ever seen. Claws this long.” He held his hands about a foot apart.
“That’s not possible,” Rowan said, his brow furrowing.
“It absolutely is. I looked that bear right in the eyes and said, this fish is mine.”
“Bears don’t negotiate,” Thea pointed out skeptically. “They just eat you.”
“This one negotiated. Because he knew I was the bigger predator.”
Rowan and Thea exchanged looks. The kind of look that said they were starting to catch on to Hunt’s bullshit.
“Wait,” Rowan said slowly. “You also said you caught a mountain lion last week. And that you swam across the ocean. And that you once ate a whole deer by yourself.”
“All true.”
“None of that is true!” Thea accused, her little face scrunching up with indignation. “You’re lying to us!”
Hunt burst out laughing, the sound echoing down the street. “Took you two long enough to figure it out. I’ve been making stuff up for the last ten minutes and you just believed all of it.”
“That’s not fair!” Rowan protested.
“That’s mean!” Thea added.
“That’s called being gullible, pups. You should always question what people tell you. Even if they’re family. Especially if they’re family.”
“We’re going to tell Mama you were being mean,” Thea threatened.
“I’m standing right here,” I pointed out.
“Mama, Hunt was being mean!”
“I heard.”
Hunt was still laughing, clearly delighted with himself for having tricked two five-year-olds. The twins’ faces had gone red with embarrassment and anger, their little fists clenching at their sides.
And then, without any warning, they both launched themselves at Hunt.
Thea went for his legs while Rowan tried to climb his back, both of them yelling about revenge and liars and how they were going to make him pay. Hunt made a big show of being overwhelmed, staggering around the sidewalk with children hanging off him.
