“I know, but don’t you think you should at least listen to him first? I don’t think you have the entire story.”
I’m getting exhausted explaining myself. “I’m not talking to him. I can’t keep doing this. For six months, all I’ve had is constant heartache. I’m so tired of hurting.” I cry again.
Vivian hugs me tighter then takes me by the shoulders and looks me in the eye. “Char, do you love him?”
I cry harder and nod.
“Then you need to talk to him.”
Even though Viviantells me to talk to Xander, I don’t. I can’t get the visual of Billie in his arms, or her lips pressed against his, or her hands gripping his head out of my brain.
And it gets worse over the weekend.
Now I put Xander’s sleeping words with a face.
I see them dating.
I see them kissing.
I see them fucking.
Over the next few days, Xander sends me text messages and tries to call and FaceTime me, but I don’t answer or return any of his messages.
“I love you and only you.”
“You don’t know what happened. I did not kiss her back.”
“Charlotte, call me. We’ve come too far for this to keep us apart.”
“You’re killing me, Charlotte. Seriously. Please, answer me.”
When my doorbell buzzes, I don’t answer it. But he must have slipped in when someone left because he is soon banging on the door. “Charlotte, please,” he begs through the door and my heart bleeds even more. His voice alone is enough to tear me apart. He finally slips a piece of paper underneath.
Charlotte,
You’re my only. I would never cheat on you. Please. We need to talk.
I love you forever,
Xander
I wantto open the door and let him wrap me in his arms. But I don’t.
Betrayed. That is how I feel, and I allow it to eat at me and guide my decisions.
Is Vivian right and any girl would make me feel this way? Maybe. But the fact it was Billie, the woman he obsessed over for six months, the woman he dismissed me for without a second thought, is extra cruel.
When Sunday comes around, my heart aches so much I decide I need to hear him out, at least let him tell me his side. It’s about two in the afternoon, and I bundle up to go out into the cold. I am walking to Xander’s hotel, since I haven’t been outside in two days, and that’s when my heart getsanother stab.
About a block from Xander’s hotel, through a coffee shop window, I see them. All of them.
Noah, Chase, Jamison, and Xander are sitting in a booth. A chair is pulled up to the end of the table, and Billie is sitting in it.
I freeze, not believing it’s her. But it’s without a doubt the same woman I saw at the club.
The five of them are deep in conversation, and I don’t know how long I stare, as anger and devastation grip me. My chest tightens and I have to remind myself to breathe. Tears fall down my cheeks.
As if in slow motion, Xander looks over at me. He blinks, like he’s not sure it’s me, then pushes Jamison out of his seat and tries to get out of the booth.
