“No. She gave you an ultimatum. Her parents said they would pay for your medical school so you could quit your paramedic job, but you wouldn’t do that.”
I jerk my head back. “I wouldn’t. She would know that.”
Noah nods. “Yes. You broke it off with her, but it was mutual. You wanted different things.”
“But we loved each other.”
“You were in your twenties and grew apart. Both of you were trying to hold onto something that wasn’t working anymore. It happens.”
I cover my face with my hands for a moment, trying to wrap my brain around this and hoping to remember anything Noah has told me, but I can’t. Nothing comes to mind.
“I just wish I could remember.”
Noah sighs. “It will eventually come to you. The doctors are convinced. Maybe don’t try so hard.”
“This is so frustrating. All I can remember is Billie was who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. We talked about getting married once I graduated. How does that change?”
“Xander, you grew apart. It happens. You need to come to terms with it and stop this search you have going on.”
I stare at him. “I can’t. Until I remember or find her and talk to her, I just can’t. You don’t understand what this is like for me.”
“Okay, man. Tell me what happened with Charlotte.”
My heart races, and I swallow hard. I don’t know why I’m nervous to tell him this, but I feel like I’m somehow cheating on Billie. The reality is I’m not, based on what Noah is telling me about our relationship, but guilt consumes me.
“Xander, whatever it is, tell me.”
“I dream of her.”
“Of Billie?”
I clear my throat. “Charlotte.”
Noah’s eyes widen. “You remember her?That’s great!”
I shake my head. “No. You don’t understand. I dream of her. I smell her. Feel her. Taste her. Experience everything about her but never see her face. I hear her say my name.”
Noah stays quiet.
I rub my hands on my face then take another tasteless sip of beer.
“What happened today?”
“I was in surgery, and they introduced me to her. She had her surgical mask on and cap covering her hair. Her eyes looked so familiar. Then they informed me about her accident and foot, so it seemed too coincidental for her not to be the same Charlotte you told me was in the car with me.” I pause and take another deep breath. “Then I smelled her. I knew it was her...the woman in my dreams.”
Noah continues to stare at me. I’m not sure what is going through his mind. He finally says, “Go on.”
“After the surgery, she left as soon as possible, and I waited long enough so it wouldn’t seem like I was following her. I went into the locker room and...and...” I put my hands over my face. Charlotte’s eyes full of tears plague my mind, and my heart splinters once more.
A few minutes pass. I have to regain my composure. I blink hard when I think of her pained expression.
I gaze up at Noah. “She wouldn’t tell me what I did to hurt her. But I know I have. I saw it. She was crying, and I caused it. She asked me if I was still searching for Billie, and I responded yes, then she asked if I still loved Billie, and I said yes. Charlotte told me to keep it professional and never talk about this to her again.”
“Shit,” Noah mutters.
“Noah, what did I do?”
He takes a deep breath. “Piper thinks you broke Charlotte’s heart.”
