I don’t know why I say it, I’ve never told anyone before, but suddenly, it’s in my mind. “I only remember pieces of the accident.”
Xander sits up more. “Really?”
“Mm-hmm.”
He peers at me. “What was that day like?”
“We were happy.” So happy.
“What did we talk about in the car?”
I shrug. “We were making plans for when you moved.”
Xander strokes my back. “What kind of plans.”
I blink several times and quietly say, “You were going to stay with me.”
He scans my eyes. “To visit?”
I shake my head.
“Until I found a place?”
“No.”
“I was going to move in?”
“Yes.”
He smiles. “When did we decide that?”
“When I was in New York. After you took me out to dinner.”
“Where did I take you?”
“I don’t remember the name, but it was a beautiful place. We didn’t eat much though.”
Xander lifts one eyebrow. “Why?”
I flutter my lashes. “You couldn’t keep your lips off me.”
He nods wisely. “I happen to be partial to your lips.” He pulls me in and kisses me, positioning me, so my sex is right next to his hard-on, but he stops. “What don’t you remember?”
“I remember everything until the crash. Then it’s blurry. There was tons of blood and broken glass. Before all the red lights, I kept hearing you moan in pain, but I couldn’t turn to see you. Piper and Noah said I called them before I went into surgery, but I don’t remember it. I don’t remember being freed from the car. I guess I was in shock.” I blink back tears then blurt out, “I had nightmares for months after listening to you moan.”
“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry you went through all that alone.”
Tears well up, and I wish I would stop crying all the time with Xander, but the pain is still so raw. And everything I’ve been holding back comes out. “I hoped you would recognize me when you saw me, but you looked right through me. You didn’t even take a minute to try andremember me.”
He cups my face. His eyes are full of pain, just like mine feel. “Charlotte, I’m so sorry. I don’t even remember you coming to see me. I was on so many meds, it’s just foggy. But that doesn’t excuse it. I’m sorry. I wish I could hit redo. I would give anything for a redo.”
“I needed you,” I whisper. “I needed you so badly.”
“I know. I’m so sorry. I’m here and not going away from you ever again. I promise.”
I want to believe him. To know for once in my life, I can have someone to love me...someone who I love so much it hurts in so many different ways but is worth all the pain. So when he kisses me and pulls me into him, I allow myself to trust in him and his promise.
“I love you. I’m here for you forever,” he whispers against my lips then starts a slow burn within me so hot I don’t think and just feel.
