She looks out the window again and shifts on her seat. I move my chair over next to her and I put my arm around her.
“Don’t feel guilty about any of that. Give me one more chance to show you I love you.”
“You love me?” She bitesdown on her lip.
“Yeah. Only you. And I don’t want you to say it back until you believe me. Let me show you.”
“You don’t love Billie anymore?”
“No.”
“Do you remember falling out of love with her now?”
“No.”
She inhales sharply and bites down on her lip.
My heart rips open again. Charlotte is still hurting and doesn’t believe me. I pull her chin to my face and look in her eyes. “It doesn’t matter. You’re my future. I only want you.”
Moments pass, and my heart is beating so loud I’m sure the entire restaurant can hear it.
“I want to believe you, Xander. I do. But I feel like I’m on this roller coaster, and I can’t get off.”
There’s so much pain in her eyes, and I know I’ve caused it. I’m on the roller coaster, too, and it sucks. I press my forehead to hers and search her blue eyes for any remaining hope she might have for us. “Let’s get off it together.”
18
Charlotte
Xander is waitingfor me to answer him. My brain tells me it can’t be this easy. That he can’t just decide he doesn’t love Billie anymore, when he still can’t remember falling out of love with her. All he did for six months was obsess over her.
But I’m staring into his eyes. They are begging me to trust him, believe in him, and leap into the unknown with him.
So my heart wins. It overrides my brain, and I lean into the comfort of his arms. There is no rational with Xander. My heart’s only desire is for him to love me, and no one else, so I put it on the line once again and tell him, “Okay.”
He smiles at me, tightens his arm, and brushes his lips against mine. “Does this mean I get to hang out with you over the weekend?”
I snuggle into him. “You fell on your ass for me skating, so I think it earned you some time.”
Grinning at me, he points out the window. There is so much snow coming down you can only see whiteness. “I think we should get going. The snow is pretty intense.”
Xander helps me into my jacket and puts my hat on my head again. “You look hot in this hat.” He gives me a quick peck on the lips.
It’s hard to keep any walls up at all.
He checks his phone. “There aren’t any Ubers for over forty minutes. Do you think we can catch a cab around here?”
“Probably not in this snow.”
“Okay. You lead then because I have no clue what direction to go.”
“I think your hotel is closer.”
“Does that mean I get to keep you all night?”
“Do you want to keep me all night?”
Xander gives me a smoldering look. “Is that a serious question?”
