“You don’t know how awful I feel about what happened,” hequietly says.
“It is what it is. We just need to move on, Xander.”
“Move forward, not move on.”
I shake my head. “Nothing has changed. We shouldn’t have hung out last night. Let’s move on.”
“But it has changed.”
“You dreamed of fucking another woman. You swore to her she’s the only one you’ll ever love. I can’t even count the times you declared your love for her. In my bed.” All the anger and betrayal I’ve held inside the last six months pours out.
Xander cups my face in his hands. His eyes are glassy. “I know. I hate myself for it. But you don’t know the context. It was a missing piece I needed to make things clear.”
“So, you remember everything now?”
“No.”
I remove his hands from my face, start the car, reverse out of the parking space, and drive through the garage. “I’m not doing this anymore.”
“Charlotte.”
I slam on the brakes and turn to him. “I can’t do this, Xander. I’m sorry, but you have to get out.”
“Please, just hear me—”
I begin to cry. “Please, stop. This hurts too bad. I’ve been dying for six months. Dying.”
“I know—”
“No, you don’t know! And I can’t keep hoping you’ll regain your memory. I just can’t.”
Xander’s tears are streaming down his face just like mine, and he tries to pull me into him. “I’m sorry. Please let me—”
“No!” I sob. “Please. Get out. I’m sorry, but please go. I need to stop hurting.”
He wipes his tears away. “Okay. If that’s what you want.”
I drop my head onto my forearms the steering wheel. “It is.”
The door opens and shuts. I wait a few minutes, crying into the sleeve of my shirt. When I finally lift my face, Xander is gone.
17
Xander
I’ve been staringat the hotel wall since I got back. I’m not sure how many hours it’s been. All I see is Charlotte’s face and I hear only the pain in her voice.“I’ve been dying for six months... I need to stop hurting.”
Agony strikes through me, over and over, piercing my heart.
My alarm rings, snapping me out of my trance. “Meet with Vivian” pops up on my phone.
Shit. I forgot I’m scheduled to view apartments with Vivian today.
I go into the bathroom, jump into a hot shower, finish, and get changed.
Vivian has texted me an address, and I leave the hotel and hop into an Uber.
I go inside the lobby of the building, and Vivian is waiting.
