Charlotte
Two Months Earlier
Nephric,Xander puts down on the board as the screen tallies the total and claims he wins.
“Finally!” comes across the chat box.
I laugh. “You were kind of overdue.”
“Ouch!” he writes back.
We banter back and forth a bit. And because I have to torment my soul, I ask him, “Have any new memories about Billie popped up?”
“No. My friends keep trying to tell me I don’t love her.”
I don’t respond for a minute. I know I need to stop playing with Xander every night and talking with him, but I can’t. I’m addicted to playing with him and keeping him in my life. I miss him somuch, and our conversations sometimes fill a hole in my heart and at others, rip it open wider.
Tonight, it’s ripping it open wider. But I have to continue asking him. The ache I feel for him is worse at times, but I continue the destruction of my heart.
“What do you think?”
“She’s the only woman I’ve ever loved and the only one I ever will. It would be impossible for my friends to be right.”
Tears stream down my face. It’s not a different story from any other night, but it hits me really hard.
What if he never really loved me?
No, he did.
Did he really?
As my mind plays games with me and my heart shatters, my doorbell rings. I’m not expecting anyone. “Hello?” I say into the intercom.
“Hey, it’s Damon. I heard you’re back. I brought some dinner over.”
Damon? He wasn’t exactly nice when we broke up. What is he doing here?
Against my better judgement, I buzz him in. When he gets inside my apartment, he’s holding bags of food and says, “Charlotte, have you been crying?”
I rub my fingers on my cheeks, trying to wipe the stains away. “I’m fine. Just had a bout of pain.”
He pulls me into his arms, and even though it isn’t Xander’s arms, it’s comforting to have someone hold me. It’s been so long sinceI’ve had any contact with anyone. I’ve been avoiding my friends and making excuses not to allow them to come over. I’ve even not answered the door when they’ve showed up unannounced.
Damon kisses me on the head. “Go get comfy on the couch. Let me fix you a plate of dinner.”
If I had been thinking straight, I never would have let him into my apartment. I would have listened to my gut say, “Don’t let him in.” Damon revealed his not-so-nice colors when I broke up with him, and the things he said to me I wouldn’t ever forget.
But here he is, bringing me dinner and trying to comfort me.
Maybe I’m wrong about him?
He’s not Xander.
You need to get over Xander. He’s over you.
Damon goes into the kitchen. I need to use the bathroom so I excuse myself. When I return, I’m heading for the armchair, but he says, “No, sit on the couch.”
My gut asks me why, but I don’t listen and go sit on the couch.
