I open my mouth again, but nothing comes out.
She tilts her head. "Are you going out with Jagger tonight?"
I confess, "I don't want to."
"But you are?" She arches her eyebrows.
"If you tell me to stay here with you, I will," I state, and mean it.
The Willow I knew shines through for a moment, and I almost see a smile, but then her face hardens again. "Make sure you and Jagger don't do anything stupid tonight. We can't risk any negative press with sponsorships on the line."
"I'll be on my best behavior," I tell her, a little bummed that she didn't ask me to stay.
She studies me another minute.
I hold my hand up. "Cowboy's promise."
She glances at it, then a soft laugh escapes her. "That doesn't make me feel any better."
I grin. "I promise you I'll be good. You don't have anything to worry about."
"Good." She takes another step.
I step in front of her again. "Hey."
She glances up. "What?"
I shouldn't ask it. I have no right to ask anything about her life, but I can't help it. "Are you seeing anybody?"
She opens her mouth but then shuts it. Her eyes turn to slits. "It's not your business if I am."
"Willow—"
"No. You lost the right to know anything about my personal life when you left."
"I know. But if you give me another chance?—"
"There is no other chance regarding us on a personal level. I will put my effort and energy into making sure your career gets back on track. You do your part. I promise you I'll do mine, but that's where it ends, Wyatt. I'm not going down this road with you again. Do you understand?" she declares with a finality that breaks me.
I stare at her, unable to answer.
"Wyatt, I need you to tell me that you understand," she implores hoarsely.
I shake my head and release her. "I'm sorry, sugar, but I'm never going to be able to agree to that."
I walk out of the office, needing air, trying to contain my emotions that feel more chaotic than ever.
17
Willow
Monday
The house is bustling with my huge family. Every holiday is a little hectic, but Christmas and New Year's have more excitement than the rest of the year.
But this isn't a normal holiday. It took me three years to enjoy Christmas again after Wyatt left. Now that he's back, the bitter taste I finally got rid of has returned.
My only saving grace is that Jagger's made sure to keep Wyatt away all weekend. They're off on whatever adventure grown men call fun, and honestly, I'm relieved.
