Kira: Have you guys ever caught a partner keeping something from you?
Macey: Yes
Macey: Not Noah, to be clear. He knows not to ruin a good thing.
Britney: yes and I threatened to cut his balls off if he ever lied again
Ariadne: No, but it’s not like I have a long history of partners…
“How was the tea?” Landon emerged from the bedroom, clad in a pair of soft pajama pants and a sweatshirt.
My heart started pounding again, thudding against my ribs like it was trying to escape. I sat stiffly on the couch,staring at a spot on the wall, trying to steady my breathing. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but how could I not?
“I lost my appetite,” I answered.
“Are you feeling all right?”
He took a seat next to me on the couch, gently placing the back of his hand on my forehead. His bodywash was a warm scent, and the smell, combined with the gesture, was all so classic Landon that it made my heart squeeze.
“A little nauseous,” I admitted, pulling his hand down from my forehead. “It wasn’t Josh on the phone.”
His smile faltered. “Oh. Who was it?”
“Lucy from Saffron and Sage. They want to offer you a job in California.”
I watched it land. His body stiffened slightly. His eyes flicked toward the kitchen counter, where his phone still sat, then back to me.
“Kira, it’s not what it looks like.”
“So you didn’t interview for a job in another state without telling me?”
I wasn’t one for fights. Generally, I preferred to keep my head down and agree with whatever the other person said. My friends always described me as “go with the flow.” But sometimes going with the flow was more damaging than interrupting it completely.
Confrontation had always intimidated me. I used to think that it meant criticizing or implying that the other person had done wrong. Now I realized confrontation was healthy. You were never going to advance in your relationships, career, or personal goals if you didn’t have the strength to confront another person.
Landon’s eyes, normally a deep walnut color, had paled. “Technically, I did, but it was a while ago. Look, Kira?—”
I covered my face with my hands.God, what is even happening right now?
“I felt so lost when I first moved back to Chicago.” His voice cracked just enough to make me lower my hands and look at him again. “Honestly, I was already lost before then. I came back to help my mom with the diner, but I didn’t think there would be a place for me there after the grand opening. You were with someone else, I barely had friends here, and my brother and I weren’t speaking. I thought maybe I didn’t belong here anymore.”
I blinked, absorbing his words.
I hadn’t realized how adrift he’d felt. I’d been so focused on our reconnection, on howIfelt, that I never thought to ask if he was still figuring out his own footing.
“So yeah, I sent out a few job applications,” he continued. “Just to see. I thought maybe if something pulled me far enough, that would be the answer. I didn’t expect anything to come of it.”
He looked up, straight at me.
“But then things started to shift. I spent a lot of time experimenting in the kitchen and found that I’m actually pretty good at it. I’m working on the new menu. You and I started spending more time together. After you broke up with Xavier, I stopped checking my inbox completely. I had hope that maybe we’d have a future together.” He took a tentative step forward. “Kira, my place isn’t in California. It’s not anywhere else. It’s here with you.”
Landon reached for my hand but didn’t close the gap. He was waiting, letting me decide.
“I might still be figuring things out. I don’t have all the answers. But I do know what I want. I know that you hate change, but?—”
“I don’t.”
As the words left my mouth, I realized they were true. Change still scared me, but the thought of change wasn’t so scary that I couldn’t see its benefits. Doing something thatscared me every day—making changes—had left me feeling like a better, stronger version of myself.
